Change For A Dollar
by JustBFree
Summary: Mystique tells the story of her past how she came to meet Eric and how he taught her to appreciate the beauty and strength in what is different.
1. Stranger Danger

Author's Note: Just another Mystique story, no one ever said her life was a pleasant one.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
'It had seemed like such a good idea at the time,'  
  
This thought had circled round my head for hours and hours as I crouched there, trembling in the cold, damp, dark.  
  
I couldn't see very well in the dark yet, that came later on with the other parts, all I could see was a little bit of light coming in through the floorboards.  
  
Why had I done it? Why? Both my mother and several of my teachers had told me not to, that it was dangerous.  
  
'It had seemed like such a good idea at the time,'  
  
I froze when I heard voices coming from upstairs. The voices were moving, getting closer, coming back for me.  
  
The door to the cellar opened, a figure was silhouetted in the light from the house. I tried to scramble away, but I was so small and he was too fast.  
  
It had been three days since he had first put me down in the cellar, three days since I had seen the sun. He carried me-kicking and screaming- into a trailer used for horses when they had to transport the livestock to different states by car.  
  
He hit me to make me stop crying-which of course only made it worse- and then locked me inside. The truck started and we drove for a really long time. It was really hot, and the metal of the trailer burned my skin when I moved. I had to sit still, but the road was bumpy.  
  
The ride finally stopped, but I didn't know where we were. I was tired. I was hungry. My mother was going to save me from this bad man soon, wasn't she?  
  
I hoped so hard that she would, I just wanted to go home.  
  
The man took me to a cage. A cage. It was meant for something else, maybe a really big dog or a young black bear, but not me! Surely not me, I'm just a little girl, I didn't do anything to you! Please, please don't put me in!  
  
I'll be good, I promise!  
  
I know I'm ugly and strange, but look at this! I'll make the blue go away, see?!  
  
The man ignored me and threw me inside. The man left, and left me alone again. It wasn't until my tears dried on my scaly little face that I thought to look around.  
  
My cage was on a small wheeled cart, the cart was in a wooden circle with straw on the floor, and a few rows of seats were set in front of me.  
  
I was alone, trapped and alone.  
  
I hated the man for tricking me.  
  
I should have known, I'm so stupid! He tricked me on purpose, when I had never done a thing to him; I'd never done anything to anyone! But still they came, with their signs and their tomatoes, my mother would cry all the time and so would I.  
  
My principal told my mother that maybe it'd be best if I stayed home for awhile, just until all the commotion died down.  
  
He wasn't pretending like we had a choice.  
  
After a few weeks, the protesters left, the news cameras left, and though the townspeople weren't friendly anymore, no one really bothered me too much.  
  
I was still so young, having just entered the second grade. I was smart, but not smart enough to distinguish between a lie and a truth told to me by an adult.  
  
Still not welcome back at school, there was little for me to do around the house. During all this time, I was grateful that our little farm was so far away from the rest of the town. The "outskirts", as some would call it, though I didn't know what that word meant at the time.  
  
My mother was still sleeping in her room while I was relaxing on the porch swing. I had woken up early, made myself some muffins in the oven and gotten dressed. I was just thinking to myself how mature and smart I was, how supreme in all my glory of mixing milk and muffin mix and using the oven without incident. I was a muffin-making god.  
  
Arrogance had been my first mistake. Trusting someone who hadn't earned it was my last.  
  
I was looking down at my left arm, which at that point was a light blue, trying to pick off the light dusting of scales that peppered the back of my hand and forearm. It was so hard to believe that the news cameras came just to get pictured of my left arm, shoulder and part of my back.  
  
They were light blue with just a little scaling. The rest of my body had scales too; they were just the same color as my skin.  
  
"Hey there, can you help me out?"  
  
I turned around to find a man in my yard, on my side of the fence. Was he here to yell at me about my blue arm too?  
  
"Yeah?" I asked, growing ever more curious about why he was here.  
  
"I lost my dog, well, she's a puppy actually." He said.  
  
"A puppy?" I-like all kids, any age, everywhere-loved puppies almost as much as candy.  
  
"Yeah, she's a sweet little thing. A baby golden retriever. Chubby, fluffy, really cuddly looking puppy. Say, I'm new in town, and I still don't know my way around. Could you help me look for her?"  
  
Find a puppy? A chubby, fluffy, cuddly golden retriever puppy?  
  
How long did I have to think about that?!  
  
Hoping to play with a puppy that didn't exist, and still on my muffin- making high, I leapt at the opportunity.  
  
'It had seemed like such a good idea at the time.' 


	2. I'm Fading

I woke up in the cage, and tried to get out. I pushed and pulled on the intersecting wires for what must have been hours, or at least until my right palm started to bleed and I had to stop.  
  
"Let me out! Let me out!" I screamed.  
  
Someone did come in, the bad man, the one who had tricked me and brought me here in the first place.  
  
He brought in a hotdog and a coke, and set them next to my cage. He didn't say one word to me, and then he left through the flap in the tent. For just the tiniest second I could see outside.  
  
It was at this point that I realized where I was. My cage was on a wheeled, wooden cart so that they could move me from one tent to another if they had to.  
  
I was being held prisoner at a carnival.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
I was an attraction, no, I was the star of the whole fair!  
  
Not that I'm bragging, mind you; I don't think anyone would brag about being in the freak show section of a traveling carnival.  
  
The bad man had seen me on TV, me with the scaly blue skin on my arm that was spreading across the rest of my body. Maybe I'd be all the way blue someday, with my teeth, hair, eyes and tongue all matching the shade on my arm. I don't think I'd like it too much.  
  
As an employee to this traveling fair, it was the bad man's job to find new attractions. While watching the news, he had seen the piece they did on me. That's when he got the idea to pay the twisted little girl a visit.  
  
Tell her there's a sad, lost little puppy somewhere and only she can help you find it. She's only eight years old, she wouldn't know what chloroform smelled. She's shorter, lighter, smaller and slower. How easy, just grab her and go!  
  
That bastard.  
  
If I ever get out of this cage, I'll kill him.  
  
He kidnapped me, and made me into a freak show attraction.  
  
Not everyone in the crowd likes me. Little kids, even some my age, say I looked creepy or weird; the adults would just sneer and roll their eyes while the older, frighteningly religious people would call me a hell-spawn or wave their Bibles at me.  
  
I can't say anything, though. The bad man is always nearby, with a cattle prod.  
  
Way back when I was only blue on one arm, it wasn't such a huge deal. I'm pretty sure that most of the crowds people thought it was just paint with some stick-on scales, but as time went on, I started to change.  
  
The blue on my left arm quickly crept across the rest of me, leaving only a few large patches of my normal skin left.  
  
My entire right leg was still the normal creamy color of a Caucasian's, for example, and so was my right shoulder blade, also a full half of my neck and face.  
  
It wasn't a straight line though; it didn't look like I had fallen asleep while in the sun. If it had, I would've turned that side of my face to the crowd at all times. Then, they'd only see my normal face and they'd leave. Then maybe the bad man would let me go if no one would pay to see me anymore.  
  
My hair was still blonde, my eyes were still blue. It's just that the skin on my nose, left cheek, chin and half of my forehead was blue. What was left-the skin around my eyes and my right cheek- was the "normal" color, but it still had the scales.  
  
When it became more obvious that it wasn't body paint, it really was my skin, that's when all the trouble started.  
  
Some kid threw a rock at me, and I started yelling at him.  
  
His mother got all bitchy and asked for her money back.  
  
The bad man got pissed and started to use a cattle prod to get his point across.  
  
He's not the only bad man I know anymore. For an extra few hundred dollars, other bad men are allowed to come into my cage- which was thankfully upgraded to a cage the size of a prison cell after I started having growth spurts- and do things to me.  
  
Sometimes they'd hurt me while they- well, never mind.  
  
Obviously, even in a bigger cage I couldn't find one reason to be happy. I became pretty withdrawn. I wouldn't eat for days; I wouldn't sleep for weeks.  
  
I forgot the taste of real food- all they fed me was carnival junk, everything's either coated in sugar or deep fried, sometimes it's both.  
  
I even forgot my own name.  
  
Given what I had to go through for six straight years, it wasn't all that surprising.  
  
The bad man- who had once been referred to as Tim by an animal handler- gave me a mirror a couple years ago so that I could see how my coloring had changed.  
  
He let me keep the mirror.  
  
I had run my fingertips over the edges, thinking about slitting my own wrists. It'd be so easy, they wouldn't see what I had done till morning, and it'd be way too late to stop me then.  
  
I'd be dead, in a place called heaven.  
  
They say that in heaven, you sleep on a cloud instead of the hard floor like I had for so long, no one would bother me or call me a demon, it'd be peaceful and quiet and still.  
  
I broke off a part of the mirror, held it to my skin, and pressed.  
  
A few drops of blood came out, smearing on my arm, turning the blue to a dark purple. I caught my reflection in the shard, and I saw my eyes.  
  
Two light blue irises stood out against the patchy midnight blue and light cream of my face.  
  
Could I do it?  
  
Die here, in a cage, by my own hand?  
  
Give Tim the satisfaction that I had finally given in to my desperation? Let him know that I could survive the overly religious crazies, the cattle prod and the other bad men, but I couldn't handle myself?  
  
No.  
  
No, I can't die now. I have to live; I have to live so that I can escape. I have to live so that I may see my mother again, taste some real food, relearn my name, and live to see Tim suffer the way he'd made me suffer.  
  
I have to, before I forget that I have a reason for living. 


	3. Escape From The Madhouse

By the time I was about fourteen, I had learned a few tricks. I could make the blue parts of my skin change colors. Red, green, orange, purple, any color. When I concentrated hard enough, I could make simple patterns like polka dots or stripes. I could make my skin shiny or matte.  
  
Tim, or the "bad man", as I remember him, caught me while I was practicing. Said it'd make even more money. I didn't believe him.  
  
To prove me wrong, and to further humiliate me I'm sure, he put a sign next to my cell-sized cage. 'Change 4 A Dollar'.  
  
The deal was that I would change colors or patterns or whatever four times for every dollar the audience put in this big jar.  
  
By the end of the day, the jar was full, but what did I care? It's not like they gave me any of the money I had earned or bought me anything with it. They never let me out of that cell.  
  
I hadn't seen the sun or moon since the day Tim threw me into the wire dog cage, a long time ago.  
  
I was allowed some magazines and a new newspaper every week, with these precious items, I could figure that I had been trapped there for about six years.  
  
I forgot my birthday along with my real name though, I had forgotten many things.  
  
My old life was slipping away, fading into the shadowy part of my mind.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
"Come See The Amazing Rainbow Girl!!!"  
  
The message was painted on a board, and laced with yellow neon lights. I could turn neon yellow, but only where my skin had changed. I still hadn't been engulfed by it yet.  
  
If I had known that I was a shape shifter, I would have spent all my time practicing; trying to either become small or strong enough to get out.  
  
At the time, I only knew a few things: I hated Tim beyond measure, I had to escape at the first opportunity and that I had scaly dark blue skin covering half of my body that could change color and texture.  
  
For the first time since I had known him, Tim offered me something nice. I had made so much money for the carnival in the past few months with the 'Change 4 A Dollar' part of the show, I could have one day off.  
  
This is what happened at the very beginning of that day:  
  
I woke up, on the floor as usual. I had muscle aches from sleeping there, mostly in my neck and back, very painful.  
  
Breakfast was waiting for me already. Funnel cake and a Sprite. It's astonishing to me that I wasn't a huge heifer after eating that junk all the time.  
  
I brushed my teeth and took a quick shower; I always had to be quick, there was no telling when Tim would barge in, and it's not like he would dream of giving me two minutes of privacy!  
  
I put on a shirt and a pair of shorts. I reread that week's newspaper, and reread two of my magazines. After maybe three hours, I was bored out of my mind.  
  
As much as I hated having to show skin to those inbred morons, it did fill the hours. Now, with nothing to do, I felt kind of useless.  
  
I tossed my magazines aside and looked towards the flap of the tent. It was half-way open, I could see people moving back and forth out there. No customers yet, it was still too early. Everyone was hurrying to put their acts together.  
  
I hated them, each and every one. Even the ones I hadn't met, I know they're out there, just like they know I'm caged up in here. They know what Tim did, every one does, but no one will raise a finger to help me, because I'm such a valuable attraction. I bring in a lot of money, more than this place could even dream of before I got here.  
  
I was about to turn back to the magazines when I heard it.  
  
Turning to the tent flap, I saw Tim talking to some guy.  
  
Fear gripped me, closed around my heart like an icy hand until my chest actually hurt.  
  
'Please, no, don't let another man into my cage, not again!'  
  
They both came into the tent, and I backed up to the wall, the farthest I could get from them.  
  
"There she is, ain't she freaky? I'll tell ya though, I ain't had but one complaint 'bout her. Guy said she cried too much." Tim told him.  
  
No. No. No.  
  
Not now, not ever again!  
  
I only looked at the floor, hugging my legs to my chest protectively. It's not fair, it's not right, go away, go away!  
  
I risked a glance up to them. Tim, my tormentor and the cause of all things painful in my life.  
  
And behind him, his face partially hidden in the dim lighting of the tent, a new client.  
  
He hadn't said anything at all, while Tim was waving at me. "Hey, you still alive in there? Wake up, you got work to do."  
  
I huddled in the corner and didn't say anything.  
  
Quickly, Tim let the man into my cage and left us alone.  
  
I stayed where I was, crying now. Tears slipped down my face, silent sobs made my chest ache.  
  
The man stood tall, looking down on me. He didn't move, he didn't come any closer.  
  
"What they have done to you is wrong, you know that."  
  
I wasn't sure if I heard him right; I just backed up a little bit farther away from him.  
  
"And you know it's not your fault. You don't want this life, you want freedom, and I can give you that."  
  
I looked up at him, wanting to see if he was just mocking me. He looked so sad.  
  
"How-"  
  
Before I could finish my question, the man held his hand out to the cage wall, ripping it right off!  
  
I stood there, completely dazed. It had to be a dream.  
  
"Come, child! Surely you don't want to stay."  
  
He snapped me out of my shock and I ran for it. The man followed me.  
  
I ran toward the tent flap at full speed, and ran right into Tim.  
  
"What the Hell?"  
  
He grabbed my arm and twisted, while heading back to the cage. He saw that the front wall of it had been destroyed.  
  
"How did you-"  
  
He couldn't finish. He released the grip on my arm, and I was able to see the man that had freed me was somehow controlling him.  
  
He stood there by the tent flap, holding his hand out at Tim. Tim slumped onto the floor and looked like he was sleeping. I stood there, completely unbelieving. How could I understand it? How could anyone? It was so amazing and frightening and wonderfully bizarre!  
  
"Child, this way." The man's voice was deep and a little intimidating, I followed him without question. If he could hurt Tim, he could hurt me even worse.  
  
He held back the tent flap for me, and let me walk outside in front of him.  
  
The sun was up in the sky, blinding.  
  
Despite the horrible pain in my eyes, I stared straight at it. "Beautiful."  
  
The man guided me to his car, but I stopped.  
  
The last time I had gone with someone I didn't know had led me here, to the side show attractions.  
  
The powerful man looked down at me from under his black hat.  
  
"I know you're afraid, but you can either come with me, where it's safe, or you can return to the cages."  
  
He looked at the car again, and the door on my side opened itself. He walked around and got into the driver's side. He looked at me from the interior of the car.  
  
"Well?" 


	4. Then Why Did You Rescue Me?

Understandably, I hesitated.  
  
I didn't know him; the only thing that I did know was that he was dangerous. He had ripped the wall of my cage off just by waving his hand at it; he had made Tim release me by looking at him.  
  
Not that I was complaining about either one of those things, but it was frightening and violent!  
  
Go into the car of a man who could easily kill me?  
  
I wasn't crazy.  
  
"Well?"  
  
I backed away a few steps.  
  
"There they are, get her back in the cage!"  
  
Tim had woken up, and was leading the charge towards us!  
  
I turned back to the powerful man's car and hopped in. The door shut itself behind me and he sped away from the tents, dust flew up and the tires squealed.  
  
*^*^*^*^*  
  
I faced forward, watching as the settings changed from rural to suburban to metropolitan. Images I had seen only in the magazines and newspaper were suddenly real.  
  
The drive was completely silent the whole time; he kept his eyes on the road and his mouth shut, I kept my eyes out the window and my lips in a tight thin line, struggling not to scream in fear and happiness.  
  
I didn't know what to say to him, I was afraid to say anything. What if he was even worse than Tim and the bad men that would come into my cage?  
  
Why did he let me escape, why did he make Tim release my arm, why did he do any of those things?  
  
He wasn't offering me any information, the car kept rolling forward.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
"Why were you at that carnival?" The man asked me after a few hours.  
  
I jerked a little when he spoke. His deep voice shattered the carefully maintained silence between us, invading the airspace of the car.  
  
After a little fidgeting, I found my voice. "I-Tim tricked me to come with him a long time ago. Six years, I think. He put me in the cage." I said quietly.  
  
The man turned to me, his blue eyes were sad. "I see." He hesitated before saying the rest, and he kind of paused between each sentence. "I'm sorry; I know you haven't had an easy life. But please, trust me when I say that no one will do anything so unspeakable to you again."  
  
He didn't say anything else after that for awhile, we were quiet once more.  
  
The car pulled off the highway, and into the parking lot of a tall building.  
  
"Here, put these on." He said as he handed me a hooded sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants.  
  
I put them on over my clothes and followed him inside.  
  
The building was huge! There was a bright chandelier hanging from the ceiling, the floor was all shiny tiles, and the building was flooded with people!  
  
The women and men and children and babies were everywhere, going every which way. Just looking at the place was making me dizzy. I felt vulnerable with all these people around, so close.  
  
I drew closer to the man. He put a hand on my back and guided me to the elevator.  
  
There were a few people in there already, so we remained silent.  
  
We got off on one of the higher floors; the man led the way to a room. He let me in, and shut the door behind us.  
  
I felt him moving around behind me, but I stood staring at the room.  
  
It was as lavishly decorated and beautiful as it had been downstairs. "Wow," I whispered aloud.  
  
"Yes, it is nice, isn't it? Here, you may order anything you like, I expect you'd be hungry by now." He said as he handed me a menu.  
  
The man went into a side room, leaving me standing there.  
  
I ventured farther into the main room, and took a seat on the leather sofa. Oh! You cannot appreciate the feel of a soft place to rest on until you've been forced to sleep on a cold, concrete floor for such a long time!  
  
I rested there for awhile, dazed with warmth and comfort. I sighed, and looked at the paper he had given me.  
  
The menu had a lot of choices: meats, cheeses, fruits, vegetables, all kinds of drinks.  
  
I hadn't had anything except carnival food for years, I yearned for something real. Just as I had decided on the 'fruit platter' and some milk, the man came out of his room.  
  
"Have you decided what you want to eat yet?"  
  
I nodded sheepishly as he sat down next to me on the sofa. I drew away from him, but he either didn't notice or didn't care.  
  
"Fruit Platter? Very well."  
  
He went over to the telephone and ordered the meal for me.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
Dinner, much like the car ride, was very quiet.  
  
I ate alone at the small coffee table in the middle of the main room, sitting on cushions the man arranged for me on the floor.  
  
Strawberries were sticky, green apples were tart, blueberries were sweet.  
  
I ate most of the fruit platter, but I left a lot of it in case he wanted some.  
  
He stood on the other side of the room, watching cars go by on the streets below us. I studied him.  
  
The lights from outside had silhouetted his figure.  
  
He was tall, strong build, the color of his skin was fair, his eyes were blue, his dark hair was starting to gray some at the temples.  
  
I didn't know his name, he hadn't told me. He might have been waiting for me to tell him mine first, but I had forgotten it a long time ago.  
  
I had no name and neither did he for the time being. He'd probably tell me his name later, but I wouldn't be able to return the favor.  
  
He'd treated me nicer than anyone had for over five years. He barely spoke to me, but he rescued me and bought me food. To me, he was a saint, a wonderful and generous man.  
  
He was a protector, a rescuer. The bringer of sunshine, fruit, and softness.  
  
And then he ruined the tiny hope I held in my heart that he wouldn't hurt me.  
  
"Are you ready for bed?"  
  
The old, familiar fear gripped me. I knew what was coming next, he'd grab me, use me, and maybe even hurt me if that did it for him.  
  
I felt my eyes tear up a little as I looked up at him; he still had his back to me as he looked out the window. He'd said I'd be safe, that no one would do it to me again.  
  
I had believed him.  
  
"Yes." I said as I went into the bathroom. I splashed cold water on my face, hoping to banish the tears. I brushed my teeth and brushed out the tangles out of my long hair and took a deep breath.  
  
When I looked in the mirror, I saw the face of a sad, starved wraith. Tim had done and let other men do horrible things to me, but the man in the other room had saved me.  
  
He's freed me from the cage, and all he wants is a little pleasure in return. I can do that, can't I? I mean, he deserves it after everything he did to help me today.  
  
If I don't, he could force me right back into the car and take me back to Tim's carnival.  
  
I cannot go back to the cage. I can't do it, I won't.  
  
I'll please him, and maybe he'll let me go. Maybe he'll kill me when we're done, maybe he'll take me with him somewhere else. Maybe he'll just keep me around until he gets bored and then set me free.  
  
Maybe, maybe, maybe.  
  
I took a deep breath and went back into the main room. He had put the cushions back on the couch, what was left of the fruit platter was gone. The room was dark now; he had turned out the lights.  
  
I looked out the window where he was standing.  
  
Less cars than before were moving on the streets below us now, there were barely any at all.  
  
Where was he?  
  
If he grew impatient, he might become angry with me. If he grew angry, this could hurt a lot worse than usual.  
  
I checked in the kitchen, he was not there.  
  
I checked in a bedroom, he was not there.  
  
I checked in the other bedroom, he was there.  
  
Already in bed, waiting for me.  
  
I poked my head further into the room and saw that he was awake. He was just leaning back into the pillows, resting his head on his folded hands behind him.  
  
His room was dark, and he wasn't looking in my direction. His eyes stayed closed for short intervals before he opened them again, to stare at the ceiling.  
  
I backed up a few steps, into the main room again, trying to stir up my courage.  
  
Was he wanting me to, um, initiate?  
  
I hadn't been the one to go first before. Usually, they were let into the cage and as soon as we were "alone" they'd just grab me, take what they wanted and leave me crying on the floor.  
  
Now he wanted me to, to- what do they call it in the magazines? "Make the first move"?  
  
I took several deeps breaths as I paced up and down the hall, trying to calm my nerves.  
  
He had been nice so far; maybe he wouldn't hurt me if I just did whatever he wanted. One thing was certain though: if I didn't go in there soon, he could get mad and come looking for me.  
  
Trying not to cry, I quietly crept into his room.  
  
He was still trying to stay awake, but hadn't noticed me come in.  
  
I stood close to the wall, watching him for a few moments, trying not to lose my courage.  
  
I crept closer, and slid into bed next to him. He looked over, surprised.  
  
"What are you doing in here?"  
  
I swallowed the lump in my throat, and tried to talk like the magazines said women should. I dropped my voice to sound "sultry & seductive", hoping he'd like it.  
  
"I'm here to please you." I declared, my voice straining to stay steady.  
  
His eyes grew large, and his mouth opened a little.  
  
He was really shocked, but I took his expression to mean that he liked my aggressive advance.  
  
Ok, now or never!  
  
I quickly climbed on top of him, a leg on either side of his body, so my little hips straddled his larger lap.  
  
I leaned down and tried to kiss him, but the man grabbed my shoulders and forced me back off of him.  
  
"What do you think you are doing?!" he asked, still holding me by the shoulders.  
  
I started to cry, expecting him to start hitting me.  
  
He didn't hit me, he didn't yell at me.  
  
"Why, Little One? Why would you try to-"  
  
"It's what you wanted wasn't it?! That's why you brought me here!" I cried.  
  
I don't know what he had said after that, but it had set me off, and I told him every horrible thing I could remember from my time in the cage. Tim, the cattle prod, the crowds of gawking strangers, the bad men that would come into my cage and worst of all, how my spirit died a little more each day.  
  
I was dead inside.  
  
My name had died when I forgot it, my birthday had died, my mother's face had died.  
  
The man had begun to rock me like I was a baby somewhere through my confession.  
  
I lay there, in his strong arms, purging myself of the painful memories as he hugged and cuddled me.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Was all I could hear him murmuring to me.  
  
When I was finished recollecting, I was quiet. The man kept holding and rocking me.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
I fell asleep, exhausted from the emotional breakdown and the excitement from the day before.  
  
I woke up next to the man. He'd let me stay with him.  
  
Last night, he told me his name was Eric.  
  
I told him I couldn't remember my name.  
  
Eric had said that was all right, and that he was going to take me to someone that could help me remember not only my name, but everything else from my past. 


	5. I'm A What?

Author's Note: I know that I'm the worst in the world when it comes to altering timelines and canon, but I can't help it! Just go with the flow, ok? Special appearances by: Dazzler, Jubilee, Siryn and Danielle Moonstar.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
The man I came to know as Eric told me of a place where people like us go to learn and live in peace. When I asked him what he meant by "people like us", he said only one word.  
  
"Mutants."  
  
He went on to explain that my blue, scaly skin was a mutation. My ability to change colors was a special ability, almost like a unique power.  
  
I would have preferred to be able to fly.  
  
We got into the car again and he drove for hours and hours, letting me listen to the radio. We talked a little, small talk mostly.  
  
I had a feeling that neither of us wanted to talk about what had went on the night before.  
  
Subjects were brought up that I never wanted mentioned again.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
"Wake up, Little One. We're here."  
  
Eric shook me awake.  
  
He was parked in the driveway of a gigantic mansion. I had never seen anything like it before! It must've been at least three stories tall and who knew how wide. The front yard had a fountain surrounded by flowers, and it was lined with tall trees.  
  
Eric got out of the car and put a hand on my back to guide me inside.  
  
The inside of the mansion was breath taking; it was so rich and fancy!  
  
He led me to an office, I suppose he had expected someone to be there waiting.  
  
"Well, I suppose he must've gone out. No matter, I'll enter your information myself," he said as he sat down at the large oak desk. I sat down in one of the chairs on the other side of it.  
  
"No name, no birth date, no medical or family records. Well, don't worry about all that. When he returns, he'll help you to remember all the rest. I'll help you to settle in though, show you your room, explain things. I'm sure all this must be terribly confusing."  
  
I nodded.  
  
"Don't worry, you'll adjust. You're a survivor." He smiled at me then, like he was proud of something I had accomplished.  
  
"Come then, to your room."  
  
He offered me his hand and I took it.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
He led me down a maze of hallways that he seemed to know by heart.  
  
I was sure I'd get lost and never be found.  
  
Eric passed several doors and finally stopped at one. He knocked. No one answered. "Must be out for now." He muttered as he let himself in.  
  
The room was very big and it had five beds, four of them had colorful bedspreads and personal things like stuffed animals and pictures arranged around them.  
  
One was clothed in plain white linens.  
  
"That'll be your bed, we can arrange for patterned sheets if you want them later on." Eric said.  
  
I was beyond grateful just to have a bed to sleep on instead of being made to sleep in the corner on the floor. I wanted to cry.  
  
Didn't he understand that I had never had a bed of my own?  
  
I hid my face under the hood of the sweatshirt he had given me and took his hand again. "Lots more to see," he said as he led me out of the room.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
He showed me flower gardens, groves of fruit trees and the large pond in the back of the house.  
  
We went into the classrooms and student lounges. The mansion was like a school for mutants, he had told me, though there weren't very many teachers and even fewer students.  
  
Mutants were rare, but very special.  
  
He said that he was a teacher, in a way. He didn't teach a class himself, but he helped the students whenever he could, he was valuable to the school.  
  
Eric had made some tea for us and we sat in the patio at the back of the house. I didn't like hot tea very much.  
  
There was some noise coming from inside, and Eric got up, telling me to stay put.  
  
I turned in my chair to see his shadowy figure silhouetted by the afternoon sun; he was in the house talking to someone in a wheelchair.  
  
I could see clearly that both of them had turned their heads to look at me at the same time.  
  
Eric came outside again and took me by the hand. "A teacher here would like to meet you."  
  
Sensing my tensing body language, he stopped, and took my scaly blue hand in both of his, and stroked it. He looked into my face.  
  
"Don't worry, Little One. Nothing bad will happen in there."  
  
I followed after him, struggling a bit to keep up with his long stride. Eric took me down a hallway, to a set of double doors.  
  
Opening them, he said, "Charles, someone here to see you."  
  
Charles was bald, and I think he would have been tall if he could stand up, but the wheelchair said it wasn't possible. He was wearing a blue suit with a white shirt and red tie. His eyes were brown instead of blue like Eric's.  
  
He smiled at me kindly. "Hello, won't you have a seat?"  
  
I sat down with Eric in the chairs on the other side of his desk. I realized that this was the same office we had come into a few hours earlier.  
  
"Now then, has Eric filled you in?"  
  
I was silent.  
  
Charles looked at me with concern, and then he turned to the other man. "Eric?"  
  
"Yes, I have. You must understand, she's a bit-I would say- shy, when around strangers."  
  
Charles cocked an eyebrow at that. "Oh? And what makes you so special?"  
  
I frowned indignantly from underneath my hood. Eric's nice, don't tease him!  
  
"Eric saved me."  
  
Charles turned back to me, but Eric spoke up. "I think she's been through enough these past couple of days, Charles, we should give it some time."  
  
Charles shrugged his shoulders. "Alright. Perhaps you should introduce here to her roommates? I'm sure you'll get along with them just fine."  
  
He said the last part to me, and smiled kind of sadly. Charles was a nice man, but I preferred Eric.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
Eric led me back to the room we had first visited, and tapped the door with his knuckles.  
  
The voices on the other side suddenly hushed and the door opened.  
  
A girl answered the door. She was about my height, but I could tell I was younger than her. Her long blonde hair curled over her shoulders, she had icy blue eyes like Eric did. She was in the middle of a giggle-fit when the door opened. Upon seeing Eric, her eyes practically bulged out of her head and her pink lips stretched out into a huge smile.  
  
"Oh, hi Mr. Lehnsherr!"  
  
The girl stepped forward and hugged him. The door opened a little more and the three other girls peeked out and smiled when they saw it was him.  
  
They instantly came forward and each hugged him, talking all at once. I caught some of their conversation, about school, new movies, and some of the other students.  
  
Eric nodded and announced, "I'm sorry, ladies, but I cannot stay long. The reason I am here is to drop off a new roommate. Make her feel welcome."  
  
I shrank back into my hood at the thought of being alone with them. They'd probably take one look at me and run away screaming.  
  
Eric rubbed my back a little, "I'm right down the hall if you need anything."  
  
Then, he was gone.  
  
The four other girls stood back and looked at me. I looked back at them, noting the differences and similarities between them.  
  
Two of them were what the newspapers had called Caucasian, meaning of the white race; one of them was an Asian with long dark hair; the last one was an Indian.  
  
The first one, the blonde Caucasian came forward after an uncomfortable silence passed through the room.  
  
"Hi, I'm Alison Blaire." Alison tucked a blonde lock behind her ear and put out her hand.  
  
I drew back a little and didn't shake her hand.  
  
Alison frowned a little and looked back to the others.  
  
The Asian girl and the Indian looked awkward and didn't say anything, but the other Caucasian, the redhead, came forward.  
  
"Hey, not here to hurt you, girlie. We're all friends here, ok? Let's try this again. That's Alison," she pointed to the blonde, "That's Danielle and Jubilee," The Indian girl and the Asian, respectively.  
  
Then, she jabbed a thumb to her chest, "And I'm Theresa. Theresa Rourke. And you are?"  
  
She let the question hang; there was no way out of this.  
  
I didn't have anything to say though, I still had no name.  
  
"I don't have a name." I said.  
  
"What?! No name? That's impossible, you have to have a name!" Danielle said, speaking for the first time.  
  
"I don't, I mean I did once, but I can't remember it." I said.  
  
"Memory loss? That's weird, but the Professor can help you with that, he knows everything!" Jubilee declared.  
  
"He may know everything, but he's not as cute as Mr. Lehnsherr." Alison said.  
  
The rest of the girls giggled, and invited me to join them. They had several magazines and makeup set up on the floor in the middle of the room.  
  
I sat down, a little apart from their clique, content to just observe them and listen to their conversation.  
  
They talked about the cute teachers, the cute boy students, movies, TV shows, all those trivial things.  
  
"So I told him that I'd love to go flying with him sometime, and he said he wanted to sneak out tonight!" Theresa gushed to the group.  
  
"Tonight? Isn't that kind of soon? I mean you two have only been dating for a week!" Danielle said.  
  
"So what? He said he needs to stretch his wings-"  
  
"Yeah, well if he tries anything, I'll rip them right off!" Jubilee said.  
  
"Don't take it personally, he asked me out first." Theresa said.  
  
"Hey, not in front of the new chick!" Alison said as she tried on a lipstick.  
  
Jubilee sulked as she braided her hair while Theresa just rolled her eyes and swept on some mascara.  
  
"Don't mind them, they've been fighting over everything- and I do mean everything- under the sun. Clothes, shoes, makeup, boys, it's all the same to them. Best just to ignore it."  
  
Alison wiped off the lipstick. "Someone with darker skin needs to wear this one." She said.  
  
Jubilee just kept sulking and Danielle frowned, "I don't like red on lips."  
  
Alison turned to me. "What about you, no-name? What do you look like under that hood?"  
  
Alison stood and walked over to me, and the other girls focused all their attention on us.  
  
"I-I don't like red lips either-" I tried to protest, but Alison didn't listen to me.  
  
"We've been patient enough, new girl. You've seen our faces and heard about our boyfriends and families. Time to fess up, not like we won't see what you look like sooner or later."  
  
I wanted to stay hidden forever, deep inside that hood, but Alison was older, faster and stronger than me.  
  
"Come on, I'm sure you're pretty! Why-agh!" she yelled.  
  
She had reached for my hood and I had grabbed her wrist. She hadn't seen that my hand was blue fast enough to make her pull back.  
  
She had flung back my hood, revealing my face. 


	6. Blue, Scaly and Proud

All at once, the air exploded with volume and colors.  
  
This horrible, high-pitched shriek blasted right at me, and the room started changing colors like there was a disco ball on the ceiling. I dropped to my knees with my hands over my ears, and saw that Jubilee, Danielle and Alison were doing the same thing.  
  
Theresa stood above us, screaming at the top of her lungs. It was her making that horrible noise!  
  
I looked to Alison, being the oldest, she was like the boss; she could make Theresa stop, but Alison was glowing! Emanating every color of the rainbow, she was making the colored lights of the room!  
  
What was wrong with these people?!  
  
Then, suddenly, Theresa stopped that horrible, piercing shriek. The air around her visibly rippled, almost like a bubble.  
  
Eric stood in the doorway, his hand held out at Theresa. Her mouth was open wide, she was still making that piercing scream, but it was like someone hit the mute button on her.  
  
With Theresa's scream completely silenced, Danielle, Jubilee, Alison and I quickly regained our senses.  
  
"What the Hell is she?" demanded Alison, pointing at me.  
  
I was used to hearing that question, asked of Tim almost everyday.  
  
"I'm a mutant." I said quietly.  
  
That's what Eric had told me, it had to be true.  
  
"The Hell you are! I've never seen a mutant like you before, and this is the largest assembly of mutants on the planet!" Jubilee snapped at me.  
  
"Jubilee, hush!" Eric barked at her, "Each mutation is different; you know that, you all have different abilities. The Professor and I have studied mutants since we learned of our own mutations, years ago. In that time we've discovered that there are several different types," Eric began to explain.  
  
"Some can control energy outside of their bodies, some can communicate through telepathy, but just recently we've seen emerging purely physical mutations. She," Eric put a hand on my shoulder, "is a physical mutant, but no different than you or me, and to be treated as any other student. If I should hear any other degrading comments, the punishment will be very grave. Do I make myself clear?" Eric asked stonily.  
  
Alison, Danielle, Theresa and Jubilee nodded shamefully.  
  
I felt like I would cry forever.  
  
"Now, because of your collective rudeness, you will take lights out immediately."  
  
Eric's tone left no room for argument.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
That night, while I was pretending to sleep, I thought about what Eric had said. I was a mutant, and that set me apart from the rest of humanity.  
  
I was further separated from my fellow mutants because I was a "physical mutant", which apparently was the rarest kind.  
  
I suddenly felt that maybe I belonged in the freak show.  
  
I could see that the other girls were scared of me, paranoid out of their minds, worried that the dragon girl would eat them when they fall asleep.  
  
I sighed quietly, and tried to let sleep steel over me naturally, but I couldn't let my mind rest.  
  
I wanted to know more, I wanted to know it all. About the other types of mutants, the ones Eric had talked about, the other physical mutants; I wanted to know the 'why' and the 'how'.  
  
I wanted to know how it was possible for Theresa to scream so loud, and why Alison could make lights come from her skin.  
  
Rolling over, I saw that Danielle was watching me closely. I didn't like that, so I left the room.  
  
Quickly, I got out of my plain white bed and just walked out of the room. All of the girls watched me go; no one spoke up to stop me.  
  
I roamed the halls, trying to remember the way to the backyard. I wanted to go out and sit in a grove of trees to watch the stars. I hadn't seen them in years. I wanted to be outside on the grass.  
  
I peeked into every door, most of them were like the room I was staying in; five beds with five students in them.  
  
Some of the rooms had boys; some of the rooms had girls. I didn't understand at the time why they were separated.  
  
I went up some stairs and peeked into those rooms. Adults slept by themselves. Charles was sleeping flat on his back; the wheelchair was beside his nightstand. I felt a kind of understanding in him; I had been imprisoned because of my body, he was a prisoner in his body.  
  
He was a nice man, I could feel it. I left him to sleep.  
  
Three rooms down, and I found Eric.  
  
He was sleeping on his left side, breathing deep and even. The covers had come down a little from him rolling over. He was wearing some dark pants, no shirt.  
  
I stood in the doorway and watched him. He had a window on the wall to the left of his bed, I could see the stars. Transfixed, I went to the window and stared at them.  
  
I heard Eric roll over, onto his right side. He was still asleep, but now he was facing towards me. The powerful, kind man with the sad eyes.  
  
He'd brought me freedom; he'd brought me a bed, now he'd brought me the stars.  
  
I sat down on the bed, the stars before me and my hero at my side.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
I woke up first, aware of something heavy around my waist. Turning, I saw it was Eric in bed next to me.  
  
I had come in here last night, though I don't know why. I had sat down next to him on his bed to watch the stars and to just be near him a little longer.  
  
I must have fallen asleep, and he'd just hugged me while he was dreaming. He was still breathing deep and even.  
  
His hand was on my bare stomach, did my scales itch his skin?  
  
I felt the sudden urge to get away, I didn't want him to wake up now and kick me out in disgust. I didn't want him to tell me the facts of my life: that I was a demonic, ugly thing; unnatural and abnormal.  
  
So far, he had only told me good things, I didn't want him to stop now.  
  
I carefully lifted his wrist and squirmed out of his grasp. I set his arm back down on the bed and tried to sneak out as quietly as I had entered.  
  
"Why did you come here?" he asked.  
  
I whirled around, terribly startled. He was still lying in bed, his eyes closed.  
  
I didn't know what to say, what could I possibly say to make this situation better?  
  
He sat up and looked at me, one eyebrow arched in amusement.  
  
"I was walking and I saw the stars in your window, so I sat down to look at them, and-"  
  
I was tripping over my words, sounding like a complete idiot.  
  
"It's all right; I won't tell if you won't. You go back to your room now, Little One." he murmured.  
  
"Okay." I replied as I ran back to the room I was supposed to be sharing with those four girl mutants.  
  
It was early still, not even eight o'clock yet; it was a rainy, gray day, making the mansion look as dark as it had the night before.  
  
I snuck back into my room and thought about him again. Why had I gone in there? Why didn't I just move on from his room like I had with Charles and the other adults?  
  
Why did I linger? Why did I join him?  
  
I didn't really know why exactly, but Eric just felt comforting. He didn't seem to care what my skin looked like, and he hadn't done a thing to hurt me so far. I had some doubts, I didn't trust anyone else here, but Eric had earned my trust after our first night together.  
  
Protector.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
I had thought that the girls might open up a little after having time to adjust to me, but they didn't.  
  
They had spread the rumor of the new student with the blue alligator skin to the entire population of the mansion. While I was walking, I could feel the other students trying to catch a glimpse of my face from under my hood.  
  
I didn't have any classes yet, so I went with Eric to a place called 'Med- lab', underneath the house. Eric weighed me, measured how tall I was and did a bunch of other things I didn't understand.  
  
When I asked him years later why he had frowned after he recorded each measurement or number, he told me it was because he found that I was very malnourished.  
  
I was underweight, underdeveloped and my growth had stunted because of the horrible treatment I was given while in the cage at the freak show.  
  
Eric didn't tell me that though, he just made sure I was healthy as a horse from that day forward.  
  
When we came out of the med-lab, the house was quiet, everyone was in their classes.  
  
"We have a good fifteen minutes before it comes time for them to go on to the next subject, what do you say to some lunch?" He asked, checking his watch.  
  
I followed him to the kitchen, and he made me a big sandwich and a glass of milk. I ate every bite.  
  
"Do you think you can be happy here?" he asked from across the table.  
  
I shifted a little in my chair; I hadn't really thought about it before. With anyone else, I probably would have just kept quiet, but Eric had already secured my trust.  
  
"I don't know, maybe. Will you stay with me?" I asked.  
  
I doubted I could ever relate to my roommates or any of the other students here; I had seen the way they looked at me, they were all shifty glances and giggles.  
  
I was a joke and a conversation piece to them, not a fellow student and potential friend.  
  
Eric was my friend, my first friend; I didn't want him to leave. He made me feel like I mattered, he gave me a reason to want to stay alive.  
  
"I'll stay as long as you need me." He said.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
I wasn't the only physical mutant at the school, just the only one that everyone found so horrible to look at.  
  
Enter Warren Worthington the Third.  
  
He was handsome, so handsome that Jubilee and Theresa found him worthy to fight over. Warren had a thick mane of blonde hair, light blue eyes and a deep tan that he had acquired, no doubt, from flying so close to the sun.  
  
By fortunate genetic coincidence, Warren was given a beautiful mutation to match his beautiful looks.  
  
Long, strong, pristine white feathered wings sprouted from his back.  
  
He looked like a beautiful angel; I looked like an evil demon.  
  
How unfair it was, that we both shared the blood- the X gene- that made us mutant, but we could look so different.  
  
Girls loved Warren, guys idolized him- they didn't really care that he was one of the few mutants that couldn't hide what he was.  
  
I actually think they liked him more for the fact.  
  
I, on the other hand, had been completely shunned. I had no friends, I spent my time reading or with Eric. No one said anything to me, but plenty of things had been said about me. I was an alien, I was the devil, I was the Creature from the Black Lagoon.  
  
I had once overheard Danielle say that my "spirit guide" animal must have been the mischievous Crow, who had tricked me into looking like a blue lizard.  
  
I slapped her for it and received the punishment of cleaning the classrooms for a week. I didn't care, it felt good to cause someone else pain for a change.  
  
Eric, however, was not impressed with my actions. After cleaning the classroom, he took me for a walk through the gardens and fruit groves.  
  
"You must not let your emotions cloud your judgment," he said.  
  
"You didn't hear what she said about me! Everyone here hates me; they think I'm a monster."  
  
"You could make them see the truth."  
  
"What truth?"  
  
"That you aren't a monster, you're just like them."  
  
"How?" I asked, expecting one of those after school special speeches. Something along the lines of, 'just be yourself and everyone will love you'.  
  
Instead, he stopped walking, took off my hood and pushed my hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ears. He tipped my chin upwards with his fingertips and made me stand up straighter.  
  
"When you withdraw into yourself, you deprive the world of something beautiful. This world is more interesting with you in it."  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
A proper diet and medical treatment had sped up my growth, almost like my body was rushing to catch up for the lost time spent in the cage.  
  
It was still a mystery as to my age, but I was certainly no little girl! Looking back, it seems like I got my height, breast and hips all at once.  
  
If I was antisocial before I started growing, I became a complete recluse after by body started changing.  
  
I just didn't want to be around people, save for Eric.  
  
My skin had changed too.  
  
As I became more and more womanly, the normal white parts of my body faded, engulfed in my beautiful new scales.  
  
I had taken what Eric said to heart. He told me I was depriving the world of something beautiful, that the world was interesting because of me.  
  
We had parted ways shortly after that conversation, and I continued walking the path while Eric departed to fill in for a sick teacher. I walked all over the mansion property, dazed by what he had said.  
  
Beautiful and interesting? Me?  
  
He must have gone crazy.  
  
I walked to the large pond at the back of the mansion, and looked down at my reflection. My hood and hair were still off my face, giving me a clear look at myself.  
  
My face was completely blue, the scales and ridges had grown in a pattern on my forehead, cheeks and around my eyes. My eyes were still blue and my hair was still blonde.  
  
I often wondered whether they would become completely blue like my skin, but they hadn't changed.  
  
I looked at myself for awhile, and I tried not to think about what everyone else thought of me.  
  
I drove the reactions and harsh words of other people out of my mind, for once listening to what I thought.  
  
I stared at my reflection for a long time, coming to the conclusion that I looked like a combination of human and animal. Girl and dragon.  
  
There was a book in the library about popular fairy tale creatures; in the chapter on werewolves, there was a picture of a girl werewolf.  
  
She was half human and half animal, everyone who wasn't like her thought she was this horrible monster, but I thought she was beautiful.  
  
If she could be a half-wolf and still be beautiful, couldn't I do the same?  
  
My heart said yes. Though I was different from everyone else, I was still like them, worthy of respect, admiration!  
  
I realized then, that I could be better than what I was. I could be the fastest, the smartest, and the strongest. I could be beautiful.  
  
Beautiful and deadly, like the girl werewolf in the picture.  
  
I was different from all the other students there, but it suddenly didn't matter to me anymore. Eric was right; I was depriving the world of my beauty.  
  
I snapped out of my thoughts and saw that it was getting late. I checked my watch. I had been out there for over five hours!  
  
In five hours, I decided that I could transform myself from something reviled into something revered.  
  
Transformation, that was the key. 


	7. Mystique

I walked back to the mansion, for once with my head held high. I threw back my shoulders and strutted into the house. At this point, I had made damn sure that my four roommates were the only students who had seen my face; everyone else in the house only had the rumors to feed their curiosity.  
  
Well, they had wanted to se me so bad, now was their chance.  
  
I paused with my hand on the doorknob. Okay, this was it, if I didn't go in there now, I'd probably be in hiding for the rest of my life.  
  
I didn't want that, I wanted to be respected and accepted like Warren had been.  
  
I took a deep breath and stepped inside.  
  
There were several students in the lounge, playing pool and just hanging out.  
  
I went inside and crossed the room, fully aware of the whispers and eyes staring after me.  
  
There, I had done it. I had let a room full of students see my real face, and emerged unscathed.  
  
I felt a sense of accomplishment in that one small feat.  
  
It wasn't much, but it was a start.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
I went up to my room and sat on my bed, writing. I had made a short list of things I needed to improve on.  
  
1). Strength 2). Speed 3). Abilities 4). Confidence 5). My past  
  
I knew there were classes that the older students took in the underground area of the house; classes that helped them improve upon their powers and physical strength.  
  
Alison had joined the class when she turned 17 and whenever she came back to the room, she gloated about how great it was. In every single lesson, her body and power was pushed to its limit.  
  
She said it was the most difficult thing she'd ever had to go through, but she loved it.  
  
I was older than everyone-including myself- had originally thought, old enough to join that class. I had to become strong, fast and useful if I were to become what most of the older kids wanted to be.  
  
An X-men.  
  
I wasn't sure exactly what an X-man was; I had only overheard the older kids talking about it. The X-men went on adventures, using their powers to help other mutants who were in trouble.  
  
Charles had a way of finding those in need, and he would send his best out to help them.  
  
That's how Eric came to me.  
  
I would go to the class and become the best, I had to.  
  
But first, I wanted Charles to read my mind. Eric had told me that Charles could read my mind and help me piece together my past.  
  
I was ready to learn who I really was.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
"You're sure about this?" Charles asked me from behind his desk.  
  
"Yes." I said.  
  
Charles glanced at Eric, who was leaning in the doorframe to Charles's office.  
  
Eric shrugged.  
  
"All right, the sooner the better I suppose." He said as he wheeled over to me.  
  
His wheelchair stopped inches from my chair, and Charles put his hands over my temples.  
  
"Just try to relax." He said.  
  
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.  
  
The first thing I felt was my brain starting to tingle a little, like when sleep steeled over you naturally and you can actually feel your brain shutting down for the night.  
  
Then, memories flooded my head, all at once!  
  
My mother, my house, my school!  
  
The principal, Tim, the cellar, the cage, the carnival!  
  
The bad men, the endless droves of viewers outside my cage, the biting electric sting of the cattle prod!  
  
My depression, I refused to eat, refused to sleep, almost killed myself with the mirror!  
  
"Agghh! Stop, stop!" I screamed at Charles with my mind and my voice.  
  
My eyes snapped open and Eric was before me, holding my shoulders. Charles was behind him, sweat beading on his forehead, a tear tracking down his cheek.  
  
I pulled out of Eric's hands and ran out of the house.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
I cried under the shade of a large oak tree. Not because I had to relive my memories of the carnival, but because Charles now knew what had happened to me.  
  
Being caged and abused isn't something I had wanted to advertise- it was bad enough that Eric knew. Given the change I would have pried the knowledge out of both their heads so that they would not know of my past.  
  
Had it been a mistake going to Charles, to learn of my past? No.  
  
I had suspected that some of the carnival memories would be brought up, and had prepared myself for them. I had got what I asked for: the past that was stolen from me.  
  
My name was Raven Darkholme. My mother was Lana Darkholme. We had lived in Missouri, on a small farm. My father was dead. We weren't rich, but we weren't poor either. We lived comfortably until I started to change.  
  
My mother didn't care that my arm was somehow becoming blue and scaly, she only cared that I was happy.  
  
I had my past back- so why did I cry?  
  
I wasn't sure I wanted it.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
I stayed outside until nightfall, and then I went back inside. For the second time, I walked through the whole house, allowing the other mutants to see my real face.  
  
A little hungry and feeling more than a little upset, I went into the kitchen. I needed a peach; I found they helped me think more clearly.  
  
Warren, Sam and Alison were at the table, and stopped talked once I entered the room.  
  
Alison was more accustomed to me, and gave a half-hearted wave.  
  
I ignored her; she had gossiped about me the most, and now she's trying to be friendly?  
  
Kiss my ass!  
  
Probably just trying not to look too bitchy in front of Warren; I wondered what Theresa would say if she knew that Alison had eyes for her boyfriend.  
  
"Hey, what's with the cold shoulder?" Warren asked.  
  
I turned to him, "What?"  
  
The wings poking through holes in the back of his shirt fluttered just the tiniest bit, careful not to knock anything over.  
  
"What's with the silent treatment you give everyone? You never talk; you just sulk all the time."  
  
I shrugged. "I don't have anything to say."  
  
Warren ran a hand through his hair. "I could think of a few things we could talk about."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Well, we're both classified as physical mutants-"  
  
"So what? We may both have the x-gene that makes us that way, but I don't see how we could possibly relate to each other."  
  
"Listen, we have plenty in common, we can't hide what we are, we've both had a hard time with-"  
  
I rolled my eyes, "Oh yes, I'm positive you've had such a hard time with your mutation. Being able to just fly away from those who want to hurt you; having a hundred friends; having Theresa, Jubilee, Alison and who knows how many other girls fighting over you; yeah, I'm sure it must be horrible." I snapped.  
  
"You bitch!" Alison yelled and she stood up from her chair.  
  
"Give me a break." I said as I left the kitchen.  
  
I probably shouldn't have done that, Warren might have had a hard time in the beginning, dealing with normal humans; but he hadn't been shunned by his own kind, in the "safe haven" for mutants of all types.  
  
I didn't want to go back to my room, Theresa, Jubilee and Alison would not be pleased that I had shed light on their infatuation with Warren.  
  
I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth, splashing water on my face when I looked hard at my reflection.  
  
My eyes had changed.  
  
They weren't blue anymore, they were yellow.  
  
The white part had changed to a bright, chrome yellow; the irises had become as black as my pupil.  
  
I wasn't horribly alarmed; when I learned to change my skin color, I had also been able to change my eyes, but this time they had changed on their own, I hadn't even felt it!  
  
I stood back from the mirror, taking in the image I saw there.  
  
Blue dragon in a t-shirt and jeans.  
  
Weird.  
  
I came closer to my reflection and blinked, changing my eye color a few times. Red, purple, green.  
  
I changed them back to the normal blue, but just like when I changed my skin color, it didn't feel natural.  
  
I let my eyes slide back to yellow and black.  
  
It felt natural. I stood back to look at them for a little longer. It wasn't so horrible; with my entire body covered in dark blue skin and scales, the yellow eyes didn't really make me look any more bizarre.  
  
They actually helped to break up the monochromatic color scheme of my body. They certainly stood out more than my old blue eyes had!  
  
I looked around the bathroom and found that I could see better, everything seemed brighter and in better focus.  
  
I turned off the light and I could see in the dark.  
  
"Cool." I said out loud.  
  
Wait.  
  
"Hello?" I asked.  
  
My voice had sounded strange. I turned on the bathroom light and said 'hello' three more times.  
  
It was my voice, but it wasn't alone. Other voices were twisted up with mine, like a group of people were specking at exactly the same time. Deep and high, man and woman, adult and child.  
  
Again, it wasn't frightening, just strange, even for me.  
  
I talked to myself for a little while, actually starting to like the sound of my new voice. It echoed on the air, and seemed to fit me better than my old voice had.  
  
I concentrated on my old voice, and I began speaking like I had just a few minutes ago; I could change my voice just like I could change my skin and eye color!  
  
I walked out of the bathroom and roamed the mansion some more. In every glass window pane I went past, I could see that my eyes were still yellow.  
  
It was confusing, and frustrating, being what I was. I now knew my past, but I didn't feel any better about it. Knowing my name didn't give me strength the way I thought it would, it still didn't seem to fit me.  
  
Raven? No, not me.  
  
It was the little girl Tim stole away from Lana, not the young mutated woman I was now.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
I had been walking blindly, but some noise downstairs had snapped me out of my thoughts. I went to the ledge and looked down into the foyer.  
  
Warren and Theresa were down there, sneaking out again. I smiled; they would get caught one of these days.  
  
Looking over, I saw that Eric's room was right behind me. I needed to apologize for how I ran away that afternoon. Carefully, I went into his room.  
  
Like always, he was lying on his side, but not asleep yet. He looked over at me, and patted the side of his bed, motioning me to him.  
  
Without a word, I came over and lay down on my side next to him.  
  
Silence stretched for a time.  
  
Eric broke it, like he usually did, with a question.  
  
"Did you find what you were looking for?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Your name?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Silence again. Eric breaking it again.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Raven Darkholme."  
  
"That's lovely."  
  
"I don't want it."  
  
"You mean you don't like it?"  
  
"No, I mean I don't want it. Raven was who I was, not who I am. Raven is not my name anymore."  
  
"Then what is your new name?"  
  
"I don't know yet."  
  
"You don't have to choose one immediately, but you should choose one soon. The new semester is almost here, and new students will arrive, and they'll want to know who you are."  
  
I took a deep breath. "You should do it."  
  
"What? You mean name you?"  
  
"Yes, you rescued me; I think it'd be only right if you were the one to name me."  
  
Eric turned to look at me. "That's a big responsibility. What if I chose something that you didn't like?"  
  
"I'd still use it."  
  
Eric chuckled low in his throat and stared at me for awhile. I was facing the window, moonlight was pouring in from outside; no doubt he could see the delicate pattern of scales on my face, and my new yellow eyes.  
  
He didn't mention the eyes, but he looked right into them and said one word:  
  
"Mystique." 


	8. Mystique's New Trick

Mystique- an aura of heightened value, interest or meaning surrounding a person or thing  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
"Mystique."  
  
I smiled and felt my scales flutter oddly at the compliment. Eric smiled back at me and rolled onto his back.  
  
I watched him with my new yellow eyes, and I felt something twist inside of my chest. It was like my heart had swelled, pushing against my ribcage.  
  
Curled next to Eric, I let sleep take me.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
The next morning, I woke up alone. On the nightstand there was a note, folded in half with a fancy 'M' on it so I'd know who it was for.  
  
"Mystique." I said my name out loud for the first time, with my new voice.  
  
I liked the way the name sounded; classy and mysterious.  
  
"Sorry to leave you alone, but there is much work to be done. The summer is winding down, the other teachers and I must prepare for the intended new students. Meet me around lunchtime in the foyer.  
E."  
  
I folded the note and put it in my pocket, then went to the room I shared with the other girls. Alison was waiting for me.  
  
"Hey, I don't appreciate you saying that to Warren." She said as soon as I got my foot in the door. "That was a- hey, what happened to your eyes?" she asked, both interested and disgusted.  
  
I shrugged, "They changed."  
  
"No duh. God, what kind of mutation is that? I mean, you're just scaly and weird! How could you hope to join the X-men? You can't do anything!" She said, almost as if to herself.  
  
"I could-"  
  
"Could what? Scare away our enemies? That seems like the only thing you're good for is to scare people, you don't even have any powers!" she laughed meanly as she brushed past me and left the room.  
  
My whole body turned an angry, flame red, reflecting my emotions. I was so angry I could hardly see straight.  
  
I'll show her, I'll show them all how useful and powerful I could be! I charged over to my bed and pulled the list I had made from under my pillow.  
  
1.) Strength 2.) Speed 3.) Abilities 4.) Confidence 5.) My Past  
  
I checked off numbers 4 and 5. I had my past, and now I had something better than confidence, I had determination.  
  
I was determined to prove Alison wrong, that I could be just as useful and powerful as her. I looked at my hands. Dark blue skin, reflective scales on the backs of my fingers, shiny sapphire nails.  
  
There had to be more I could do than change colors, couldn't there?  
  
I thought about my eyes. I could make them look human.  
  
Blue eyes, green, brown, gray; none of those were difficult.  
  
I had done it before, I could make them look human, I could make them be rainbow-colored, or even have a pattern.  
  
Then, ever so subtly, an idea occurred.  
  
'If I can change my eyes to look human, why not the rest of me?'  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
I was pondering this idea the next day, while I was supposed to be studying, when Alison barged into the room.  
  
"Oh my God, where is my-there it is!" she cried, grabbing her yellow and black unitard. "I've been looking all over for this thing!"  
  
She bounded out the door. I knew she was going to training in the underground part of the house, training to become an X-man.  
  
I glanced at Danielle and Theresa, they were studying.  
  
Closing my own text book, I left the room, silently tailing Alison. I followed her down the stairs to the underground tunnels. I kept a good distance, but never let her out of my sight. She turned into one of the side tunnels and went inside.  
  
I got closer and closer, peeked into the manhole-like circular windows in the metal doors, and what I saw was rather strange.  
  
Alison, Warren, Sam and a bunch of other students were standing in a circle, with Eric in the middle. I couldn't hear what was being said, all I saw was Eric talking and gesturing.  
  
Eric walked away from the group, and they spread out.  
  
Warren took to the air, and so did a few other students who could fly. I could no longer see Eric.  
  
Then, red light beams and metal balls blasted at them!  
  
"Whoa." I said to myself.  
  
It looked so cool and fun! Warren had just flown in a loop, trying to escape the metal ball's pursuit, his wings flapping so fast that I could barely see them. Up, down, left, right! I had no idea he could fly that fast!  
  
Alison flipped out of the red light's path, dodging and zigzagging all over the massive floor space of the Danger Room, colored lights blasting from her hands to intercept the red beams.  
  
"Okay, this is it," I said out loud, in my new multi-toned voice, "Time to prove to them how valuable Mystique can be!"  
  
I opened the door and ran out to the middle.  
  
Alison turned and saw me, she held out her hand, there was a loud noise, a bright flash of light, and then I was gone.  
  
*^*^*^^*^*  
  
I blinked slowly; the lights stung my eyes horribly. "Mmm-" I moaned. My head felt heavy and my limbs felt almost numb. I tried to open my eyes again; the light of the room gave me a splitting headache.  
  
I could feel I was in a bed; from the smell, I knew I was in Med-lab.  
  
"Coming about, are we?"  
  
I forced my eyes open, trying to ignore the pain. "Huh?"  
  
The room slowly came into focus. Eric was sitting beside my bed, looking none too thrilled with me.  
  
"Eric?"  
  
"Yes, Mystique. I am here."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"You were simultaneously blasted with concentrated light forces, that's what."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"You ran into the danger room in the middle of a training session. The stun laser and Alison's light blast hit you at the same time. You're lucky you weren't seriously hurt."  
  
I moved my head to the side, and felt something there.  
  
"Why did you go in there? Didn't you realize the danger?" Eric's voice was somewhere between angry and hurt.  
  
"I wanted to show them I could be an X-man too." I said lamely; hearing the reason out loud just made me feel like an idiot.  
  
I reached up and to the side of my head and felt a bandage there. Eric took my hand in both of his and brought it down to the side of the bed, where he held it tight. His hands were strong and warm.  
  
"Mystique, please, promise me that you won't go in there until you're ready."  
  
"How will I know when I am?"  
  
"Let me worry about that, eh? I'll train you personally, until you can meet the physical requirements for danger room practice. But only if you promise not to go in there again."  
  
His hands held mine a little tighter, his blue eyes urging me to accept his offer.  
  
"Okay, Eric. I'm sorry for rushing in there."  
  
He smiled kind of sadly. "I'm actually not too surprised, I know what Alison had said to you earlier this week- she's being punished for it- and I can't blame you for wanting to prove her wrong."  
  
I smiled a little.  
  
"All right, deal's a deal, eh?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
"Good," he said as he kissed my hand and stood up, "Then I expect you to be ready for starting sessions by next month, a little before the new students arrive."  
  
"You can count on me." I said through the throbbing pain in my skull.  
  
He looked down at me for a moment, a silent struggle behind his eyes.  
  
Then, he carefully leaned down and kissed me on the forehead before he made a hasty exit.  
  
Suddenly my head felt fine.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
It began with physical workouts. Eric made me run, swim, jump, lift and climb for three hours straight everyday.  
  
The first couple of weeks, I felt like I was going to die from exhaustion. There were times when I felt like quitting, but Eric said he wasn't going to give up on me, even if I give up on myself.  
  
I didn't give up and I didn't quit, disappointing Eric was the last thing I wanted.  
  
So I ran, swam, jumped, lifted and climbed whenever he said, for as long as he said, without question or complaint.  
  
I started to see changes in my body pretty quickly. I had toned muscles, I was getting stronger.  
  
After building the "foundation strength", as Eric called it, the hard stuff began.  
  
Eric taught me how to fight. We would spar outside; punching, kicking, blocking. We fought hard, but only to learn the skill, I never actually wanted to hurt him!  
  
Before fighting, Eric would have me meditate. I cleared my mind, and concentrated on making my body change. I was able to turn my skin back to the peachy color it was before my mutation came about; but the scales remained, hard and slick.  
  
I usually became angry when I couldn't make them disappear.  
  
"Mystique, you must not push yourself too hard, too fast."  
  
Eric always said that, but he didn't know what it was like!  
  
He was a normal looking man- a mutant like me, but no one could know that by looking at him. He was safe beyond the walls of the school, whereas I could never leave.  
  
I was only growing more bizarre as time went on. My skin turned darker, almost to midnight blue, my yellow eyes became brighter, as bright as a school bus.  
  
How very foolish of me to think that my mutation would stop at my skin and eyes, while my hair remained intact.  
  
After a particularly tiring night of sparring, Eric invited me to his personal study. He made me an ice pack and offered to massage my back for me.  
  
I wasn't about to say no to that, so I sat down on the ottoman in front of his chair and let him work my sore muscles.  
  
His hands were skilled; he'd done this before. My eyes slid shut in relaxation as he kneaded my back. His hands worked their way up from the base of my spine up to my neck.  
  
I felt him stroke my hair a little.  
  
"Mystique?"  
  
"Hmm?" I asked, still under the spell of his hands.  
  
"Your hair."  
  
"What about it?" I asked lazily.  
  
"It's changing."  
  
My eyes snapped open and I went to a mirror. He was right; as we both stood and watched, my blonde hair was quickly being swept into a bright flame red.  
  
"Whoa."  
  
Eric raised his eyebrows. "Quite interesting."  
  
"Gross." I said absently as I fingered the flame locks.  
  
Eric smirked and touched them himself, "No, I actually think it's quite becoming. You're all primary colors now, aren't you?"  
  
I smiled. "Does it usually happen this way?"  
  
"Physical mutations? Well, Charles and I have found that the healthier the subject is, the faster the mutation will take place. It's no wonder that you've changed so much since we brought you here."  
  
"Do you think it's finished yet?"  
  
"Who can say? It's quite possible; now that you've evolved further, I suspect our training will go much smoother. But we're finished for today, off to bed you go." Eric playfully ushered me out of the room.  
  
I went up the stairs to my room, not surprised when the other girls became startled about my hair.  
  
"Did you dye it?" Theresa asked.  
  
"No, it changed on its own a few minutes ago." I replied.  
  
"Where?" Jubilee inquired.  
  
"In Eric's study."  
  
"Eric? I think you mean Mr. Lehnsherr." Alison said.  
  
I could tell by her tone that she didn't like that I was allowed to call him by his first name. I was well aware that she was jealous because I was the only student there with that privilege.  
  
"Yes, it changed in Eric's study, while he was giving me a backrub after we finished my private training lessons." I explained flippantly, trying not to laugh as Alison's expression went from irritated to irate.  
  
It was no huge secret that Alison had herself a little crush on Eric, a bunch of the girls here did. Something about his eyes, his accent, his charm.  
  
She obviously was not pleased to know that Eric spent his spare time giving me massages.  
  
"Oh really? And what did he say about your hair?"  
  
"He said it was 'quite becoming'."  
  
"Please! Mr. Lehnsherr said you looked nice? Give me a break, he was just trying to be nice, Gator-face!"  
  
I ignored her little outburst; let it roll off my back.  
  
"My name is not Gator-face." I said calmly.  
  
"Then what is? Blue dragon? Swamp thing?"  
  
I went to my bed and sat down on the mattress. "No," I said, speaking not only to Alison but to Jubilee, Theresa and Danielle as well, "My name is Mystique. Eric named me a while back, and you should do well to remember it."  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
Eric was right, after I had evolved just that tiny bit more, training became easier. All of a sudden, I could jump higher, run and swim faster, lift heavier and fight harder.  
  
He noticed the change and was very pleased with it. "Brilliant!" he had said again and again. We worked on my power; it was going a little easier, but not much.  
  
Even after I finished the exhausting training with him, I would go in the bathroom to try making myself change into a normal looking human.  
  
I got closer and closer each time, and practice has since made me perfect.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
I don't recall the exact date, or the time of day in which it happened, but I do remember how I felt the first time I did it.  
  
I had locked myself in the bathroom, staring at my reflection. I stood there naked, having just come out of the shower, and was looking myself over.  
  
The water slid off my body, soaking through the towel. I had made a habit of trying to change whenever I could, and this time was no different.  
  
I felt my skin ripple; I saw the blue fade into creamy peach. The flame red hair lightened to blonde, the yellow eyes swirled to reveal blue. It was the first time I had managed to change everything at the same time.  
  
I dropped the towel and stared at my naked reflection.  
  
Raven Darkholme stared back. It was perfect, I looked completely human. I gingerly touched my face and hair. I was pretty, no, beautiful!  
  
My rosy lips split into a wide smile and I laughed out loud, tears of joy forming in the corners of my eyes. My blue, human eyes.  
  
I had done it!  
  
I concentrated, and changed back to my blue, scaly form.  
  
I could change into other people, that was my power. I almost started weeping at the thought of how useful and powerful it made me. I could be the perfect spy.  
  
I'd be the best X-man Eric had ever trained! 


	9. Raven Takes Flight

Author's Note: I know, I know, the cannon doesn't match, and all that, my bad!  
  
*****  
  
I don't know why I didn't tell Eric right away what I had done. I wanted to run right to his bedroom and show him what I could do, but I didn't.  
  
Maybe it was because I wanted to wait until I could do it perfectly; maybe it was because half the joy I found in my ability was that it was my secret.  
  
My splendid, unique, secret.  
  
I went back to my room and just sat on the bed for awhile, not sure if I had just done what I thought I had. What if I had just wanted to see the real me so bad that I imagined the whole thing?  
  
Danielle rolled over in bed; the rest of my roommates were already asleep, just as I should have been.  
  
I went to the mirror on the wall-an object I usually avoided- and looked at my reflection. My eyes reflected yellow light back at me through the glass.  
  
I concentrated hard-but I didn't force it-and the change swept over me. Raven Darkholme stared back.  
  
Wow!  
  
It had even gone easier than the first time! It was faster, smoother, and more precise. The old me stared through the glass. Raven smiled and tried not to laugh out loud and wake the others.  
  
The others.  
  
I looked at Alison; her features were the most similar to mine, save for the hair color, but the eyes and skin- it was worth a shot.  
  
I closed my eyes and pictured Alison in my head; laughing, teasing, talking. I felt something shift-it wasn't painful or even uncomfortable, just a little odd, like getting goosebumps.  
  
I looked in the mirror again, not knowing what to expect.  
  
Alison Blaire stared back at me.  
  
I had become Dazzler.  
  
I smiled meanly, the way she always did.  
  
"Not bad, Gator-face." I said in flawless imitation of her voice.  
  
*^*^*^*^^*^*^*  
  
In one night, I had managed to change into all four of my roommates; Alison, Jubilee, Danielle and Theresa.  
  
I smiled and winked and made faces at myself in the mirror while in their forms; with each transformation, I got better. The coloring became more precise, the differences that made them so unique to were copied with unbelievable precision.  
  
I went to bed with a smile on my face that night, knowing that there was no limit to how happy I'd make Eric with the news I gave him tomorrow.  
  
**********  
  
"Mystique, wake up!"  
  
I rolled over and put a pillow over my head, it was too early!  
  
I knew Danielle was standing over me, probably crossing her arms and frowning at my sleepy-headedness.  
  
To hell with her! I was tired, leave me alone, dammit!  
  
I felt a slight jolt, and jumped up. Danielle stood before me, smirking in her usual way, her hand still glowing from the fresh "energy arrow" she'd thrown at me.  
  
"What?!" I barked at her, my scales fluttering like a rattlesnake's tail.  
  
Disappointingly, she didn't seem to care one wit about my threatening stance.  
  
"Hey, don't kill the messenger, all right? Someone had to get you out of bed, and you're lucky it wasn't Theresa! If you want to wake up to a sonic shriek, be my guest."  
  
I settled my scales, "Fine. Sorry. What time is it?"  
  
"It's almost one, and the new students are going to be here at six. We need help getting everything ready, so come on!"  
  
Danielle pranced out of the room, dragging me along with her by the arm. We got downstairs and found the other students cleaning, organizing the lobby and decorating.  
  
Danielle went off to join Warren and Sam, while I stood there watching everyone from the stairs. I felt my scales pulling at the inside of my clothes; they were doing that a lot lately. It was making clothes a real burden.  
  
A hand came over my shoulder and squeezed me gently.  
  
"Exciting, isn't it?" Eric asked from beside me.  
  
"What is?"  
  
"This, what's happening today. We are expecting fifty new young mutants today, fifty! Doesn't that excite you?" Eric's eyes shined.  
  
"Not really, why?" I shrugged. I didn't care about the goings on in the school; I had always felt detached from it. A few new students made no real difference to me.  
  
"Well, Mystique, I thought the answer should have been obvious. Don't you think that within all those new students, maybe one of them could be like you? A mutant that shows on the outside?"  
  
I was about to tell him that it wouldn't be a problem anymore, that I could change, but instead I said, "I hadn't thought about it really, do you really think there might be someone like me?"  
  
The idea was intriguing.  
  
"I can't say for sure, the other teachers do most of the recruiting. But, it might not hurt to hope." He smiled at me, and I suddenly felt both embarrassed and pleased. My cheeks felt hot, but I knew no blush would show through the blue.  
  
I wanted to tell him something important, something I didn't know how to explain.  
  
"Mr. Lehnsherr, could you help us over here?" Alison called.  
  
Eric turned his attention to Alison and her group, and then left me to go help them.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
Six o'clock rolled around, and what a spectacle that was!  
  
The mutant students piled out of their parents' cars with luggage under each arm, all of them chattering happily, so thrilled to go to mutant school.  
  
I had climbed one of the large trees that bordered the driveway, the one closest to the mansion's entrance. Crouching on a branch, I was hidden by the shadows of the leaves and the approaching twilight.  
  
I even changed my skin color to match the dark brown of the bark, though my red tank top and denim shorts didn't blend very well.  
  
I wanted to see if Eric was right, if there were any other physical mutants like me.  
  
Who knows? Maybe they'd be so ugly they'd take the heat off me, the torch of social rejection would be passed.  
  
My eyes had become sharper when they mutated, I could see each new student clearly as they got out of their car or truck.  
  
Girls and boys of all ages; from what looked like preteens to young college students.  
  
Blonde, brunette, redhead.  
  
Green eyes, blue eyes, brown eyes.  
  
White, black, Hispanic, Asian.  
  
Not one of them looked anything beyond human, not one! I bared my teeth in irritation; I'm still the freak among freaks.  
  
No doubt Alison and the rest were already warning the new students about the blue dragon-girl that roamed the halls. I stayed in the tree, rooted by my disappointment, until the last car drove off.  
  
It was getting dark, and my muscles were cramped from staying still for so long. I climbed down and turned to see another car coming up the winding path of the driveway.  
  
Upon closer inspection, I could see that it was a white limousine. I hid behind the tree and watched as it pulled up to the front of the house.  
  
The chauffer opened the back door to let out a woman.  
  
She was blonde, but that was all I could see since she was wearing an elegant fur coat over her chic white dress, a light blue scarf around her head and dark sunglasses, even though it was nighttime. She must have been very rich; she looked a little too old to be a student here, maybe she was a sponsor for the school.  
  
Miss Rich went inside, the limo pulled away.  
  
She had luggage with her, obviously she intended to stay. I watched her from behind the tree, looking for any sign of mutation. A tail, wings, horns, scales, fangs, anything!  
  
She looked human too.  
  
I was still the only one.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
I looked in the front windows to the lobby and saw Charles talking to some parents, Alison and Jubilee were introducing themselves to the new students, everyone was meeting everyone else.  
  
It looked like a happy little gathering, from what I could see, everyone was having a good time.  
  
Maybe I'd just waltz in there and show the new kids what a mutation really looked like.  
  
I touched the scaly pattern on my face.  
  
Yeah, I bet they'd just die when they saw me.  
  
I mimicked the sound of a growling dog to better express my frustration of being alone.  
  
"Grrr-rrr-rrr."  
  
Turning away from the window, I started walking the long path through the gardens and fruit groves. Maybe it'd make me feel better about the whole situation.  
  
It'd just be more of the same, right?  
  
More people whispering; more people trying not to look, enslaved by their morbid curiosity; more nick-names, more isolation.  
  
Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad; I still had Eric, and as soon as I got a better handle on my powers I could leave the school and reconnect to my past.  
  
The pond and the surrounding gardens had been strung with icicle lights for decoration; Warren had weaved them on the bridge, even I had to admit that it made the mansion's backyard look- romantic.  
  
Tiny dots of gold light pierced the dusky night.  
  
I pulled a flower off of an orange tree and pulled out is petals, one by one. They fluttered to the ground, a few landing on my bare blue toes.  
  
I was about to keep walking when I saw a figure move on the bridge. I focused my eyes and saw that it was Eric. He was leaning his elbows on the railing; looking at the water. I watched him for a little longer; he sneezed and I couldn't help laughing a little at that.  
  
He was so easy to like, I always wanted to be with him.  
  
There were trees all around; I was practically invisible to Eric from where I was. He threw a few rocks into the pond as I moved toward him through the tress. I wanted to try telling him what I had wanted to tell him earlier, before the new students arrived.  
  
I had no idea what to say though; I'd spent most of my life in horrible conditions, at the time the idea of love was beyond me. Sometimes it still is.  
  
I had just passed the second fruit grove when I saw him move. I stopped and watched him, what was he doing?  
  
Eric stood up straight and opened his arms. A woman ran from the other side of the bridge and practically jumped on him!  
  
Eric picked her up and twirled-actually twirled!-her right there on the bridge. He put her back down and she pulled his head down and she kissed him.  
  
I felt like one of Danielle's energy arrows had just gone through my chest.  
  
It must have been some kiss- it set off Eric's power and the air started crackling with electricity. My red hair was standing up from the static.  
  
The image of them kissing on the bridge got blurry. For a moment I thought my vision was going bad, but it was tears. I felt this thick lump build up in my throat, and my lips started trembling.  
  
I couldn't watch them anymore, I ran back to the house.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
Not bothering with any of the people in the lobby, I went up to my room. I said nothing to Charles, the new students or my roommates.  
  
I sat on my bed and tried not to scream from the pain wracking my body from the inside. It felt like my ribcage was swelling up, my heart trying to break through the bones.  
  
I bit my pillow to keep from crying out; if anyone came in to ask me what was wrong, they'd think I was crazy if I told them the truth- I didn't know.  
  
I didn't know why it hurt so much to see Eric with the woman on the bridge- it just did!  
  
Terribly.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
The next morning I wondered if the whole scenario I saw on the bridge was just a dream. Maybe it was; maybe there was no woman and I had imagined the whole thing.  
  
For the first time-not the only time, I should mention- I used my power to get information for my personal benefit.  
  
Eric had once told me that knowledge is power, and I had the perfect mutation with which to gain it.  
  
Maybe there could be some benefit to being what I was.  
  
The other roommates were still sleeping. It'd be time for us to wake up soon, but the teachers were always the first to rise. They'd already be moving around the house, all I had to do was find them.  
  
Theresa was what I felt to be the most fun to morph. I watched her as she slept for a second before I changed into her.  
  
I watched myself in the mirror.  
  
My flame red hair grew longer, to the middle of my back before lightening to the orangey color of a natural red-head; my scales flowed down into my skin like a sheet of dominoes, one row after another, until my skin was completely smooth and the lightened to a perfect match of Theresa's peaches and cream complexion. My eyes shifted effortlessly to her pale green.  
  
Theresa 'Siryn' Rourke smiled at me in the mirror.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
No one would be alarmed if Theresa were to take a quick walk around the school- I hoped!  
  
I headed toward noise downstairs. I quickly made my way down there, and followed some voices, coming from the kitchen.  
  
"Oh yes, of course, but it's so nice to have you back."  
  
I heard a man's voice coming from the other side of the door.  
  
Theresa-perhaps because of her power- was never much of a shy girl; she wouldn't sit and wait to be invited anywhere, she'd just barge in.  
  
To pull this off, I'd have to be exactly like her.  
  
I pushed the door open and headed straight for the refrigerator, taking mental notes the entire time. Charles, Eric, Warren, Sam and the woman from the bridge were at the table.  
  
Eric was sitting next to the mystery woman; it tore at my heart and made me angry at both of them, but I couldn't let my illusion slip.  
  
Charles was a telepath-if he sensed anything was off, he'd read my mind and know what I was doing in less than a second.  
  
"Morning all," I said to the table.  
  
"Good morning, Theresa, how are you?" Charles asked warmly.  
  
"Couldn't be better, just wanted to come downstairs and grab a quick bite to eat." It amazed me how easy the lie came.  
  
"Ah, good, nutrition should be a top priority for a growing girl; have you met many of our newest?" he asked, meaning the new students.  
  
I remembered Theresa had spent time mingling with the new kids there last night. "Some, yes."  
  
"Tell me what you think of Scott Summers."  
  
Uh-oh. Theresa had been mingling like crazy last night, she'd probably made friends with everyone by now, I needed a way out of this, fast!  
  
"I'm sorry; I don't recall who you mean exactly. It's just that I'm a little tired, you know?"  
  
"I understand, it was quite a busy day yesterday, especially with her return." Charles gestured at the mystery woman with a playful wink.  
  
Perfect, I had been waiting for just this kind of opening.  
  
"And you are?"  
  
The mystery woman's icy blue eyes widened in surprise, and her lips pursed, like it was the stupidest question she had ever heard.  
  
"How could you not know who I am?" She asked.  
  
She had an accent; it didn't sound as warm as Charles's New England or as wise as Eric's transatlantic- it just sounded like the bitchiest British person on the planet.  
  
Eric chuckled low in his throat.  
  
"Oh, no! I just didn't recognize you; I hadn't seen you in so long, have you done something different with your hair?" I asked.  
  
I couldn't give it away that I was panicking slightly; Theresa met this woman before? Where? When? What if they were related or something? My cover would be blown for sure!  
  
The mystery woman smiled kind of smugly and fingered a lock of her blonde hair, "Well, I did get some highlights. Off you go now." She told me.  
  
"Emma, Theresa doesn't have to leave!" Eric protested slightly.  
  
"It's ok, I was about to go back to my room anyway." I said quickly as I left.  
  
Okay, let's review what I managed to gather on my first impersonation: the mystery woman was named Emma, Theresa knew her, and she was British.  
  
Not a lot to go on, but it was a start.  
  
All I had to do now was put this puzzle together, the only obstacle I faced was how to go about it.  
  
*^*^*^^^*^*  
  
I didn't want to ask Eric about Emma outright, simply because I was afraid of what I'd hear.  
  
The idea of her being his wife or fiancé sickened me.  
  
For the next week, I artfully avoided him; though I hadn't of needed to, since Emma was already taking up so much of his time. I hated her already.  
  
Subtly, I asked Theresa about the woman and learned that she was Emma Frost, a former teacher of the school. Theresa didn't know much about her relationship to Eric, so I had to think outside the proverbial box.  
  
This is where I learned that even pathetically naïve people can serve a purpose.  
  
Enter Leslie 'Zodiac' Miller.  
  
Leslie was one of the new students, one of the younger ones. She had only just turned fourteen a few months before coming to Xavier's, and was still pretty shy around the upperclassmen.  
  
Leslie looked typical for her age; she was about 5'3", lanky, she had brown hair and brown eyes. Her mutant power was the ability to somehow fuse the hydrogen and helium in the air, creating miniature stars, hence her codename: Zodiac.  
  
There was no information on former Xavier students in the school library, nor was there any on the computers in there either.  
  
"The only information on former students would be in the Professor's collection of yearbooks. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to loan you one." Ms. Inad, the librarian, had told me.  
  
Well, not me, she told this to who she thought was Danielle. I smiled politely as Danielle and shifted back into my normal self when I left the library.  
  
Not good.  
  
If I asked Charles for a yearbook, he'd want to know why; I really didn't feel like answering any questions. If I gave any suspicious replies, he'd read my mind and figure out why I wanted one.  
  
Then, the idea that he didn't have to know what I was up to occurred to me.  
  
I was walking around outside when I devised my plan. An ingenious plan it was, too! No one would be able to trace anything back to me, thanks to my lovable new ability.  
  
Being 'Mystique the Freak' had its upside.  
  
"Hey, catch!"  
  
I climbed one of the apple trees and spied on some of the new kids playing in the yard. 'How convenient,' I thought, 'they're right below Charles's window.'  
  
I climbed back down the tree, when my feet touched the ground, I was Alison.  
  
Leslie and the boy Charles had asked me about, Scott were playing. She was tossing her little stars at him and he was blasting them with the red bolts that came from his eyes.  
  
How cute.  
  
Leslie was skittish, almost fearful of Alison; this would be almost too easy.  
  
I walked up behind Leslie as she was making a large star to throw at her playmate.  
  
My hand clamped on her shoulder. "Hey!" I said harshly.  
  
Leslie jumped and her star shot upward-right through Charles's office window.  
  
"Agh!" she gasped as she spun to face me.  
  
I looked up at the window. "Look what you did! The Professor's going to be so pissed when he finds his window like that."  
  
Leslie trembled, "I'm sorry, it was an accident, I didn't mean to-"  
  
"Don't worry about it, that's why you're here, remember? To learn how to control your powers better. Now, you and Scott take off, I won't tell anyone what happened."  
  
Scott came forward, and then he and Leslie ran around the fruit groves to the field, where some other kids were playing.  
  
I smiled, and changed back from Alison; I reveled in the beauty of each transformation I performed. My skin darkened, the bony ridges and scales poking through and becoming hard; my hair shortened and darkened, my eyes blurred to yellow.  
  
I knew now, that Eric was right. In my own way, I was beautiful. 'Though not as beautiful as Emma' I thought bitterly.  
  
I looked around to make sure I was alone, and then I climbed the tree that grew next to his shattered office window.  
  
I wrapped my hands around a horizontal branch, and like an Olympic gymnast, I swung on the branch and flipped through the hole, making a clean landing.  
  
"Cake." I said aloud to myself.  
  
I went to the door and locked it from the inside to make sure I'd have time to escape if anyone tried to come in.  
  
The computer sat on his desk, and there were several yearbooks and school logs in the bookshelf behind the chair. I took a seat and checked the school records for Emma Frost.  
  
A file popped up with a picture of her from when she was younger, it had her birth date, a description of her powers, and information on her family and the years she taught at the school.  
  
I stood up on the chair and took the yearbooks that would have had her in them, along with some of Charles's personal logs from the corresponding years.  
  
It was wrong to take his private things, but I didn't care that much. To me, life was very simple: if you need something, take it; if you have something keep it; if someone tries to steal it from you, protect it.  
  
That's what I intended to do, but I needed to know more about Emma first. If she was trying to take what was mine, I wanted to know her weakness.  
  
Someone twisted on the doorknobs, my cue to leave. I switched off the computer, shoved the yearbooks and logs into the knapsack I had taken with me, and leaped back into the tree.  
  
Whoever had opened the door was clueless as to what I had done.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
I brought the materials to my room and secretly sorted through them.  
  
I looked in the yearbooks first, Emma looked about the same; blue eyes, blonde hair, that same bitchy smirk.  
  
I rolled my eyes at her pictures.  
  
Emma with friends, Emma hovering above the ground (apparently she can fly), Emma in front of the fireplace in the living room.  
  
God, I thought I couldn't have hated her anymore until I turned the page.  
  
Emma was sitting on a teacher's desk- Eric's desk.  
  
She was leaned back to embrace him, his hand was on her waist. He was smiling as her arm snaked over his shoulders.  
  
I snapped the yearbook shut and looked through Charles's log.  
  
'April 10th, as I had much expected, Emma has set her sights on Eric, and he fully reciprocated. They are a very amorous couple; I must admit I am quite jealous. Perhaps I never should have allowed Emma to come teach- Bah! I must not be so selfish; Eric deserves someone to make him happy.'  
  
Emma made Eric happy. It didn't seem right, she wasn't right for him.  
  
I skipped more pages.  
  
'October 19th, Eric and Emma's relationship has been crumbling for the past few weeks and today it finally collapsed with her departure. Emma's family has long been members of the Hellfire Club; she has a duty to fulfill by taking her mother's place as the White Queen. She demanded that Eric leave the school and come back to England with her, but he chose-wisely, I believe- to stay here at the cost of their relationship.'  
  
Good for you, Eric.  
  
I looked into another journal dated a few years after their breakup.  
  
'February 27th, I am happy to report that Eric has put all thoughts of Emma from his mind and replaced them with a new charge. After using Cerebro, I discovered a mutant in dire need of help. Eric immediately drove to the Ozarks and rescued her. He told me that he didn't kill the humans that had imprisoned the child and---done things to her, though his temptation was overwhelming. I half hoped that he was lying to me.  
  
'He brought the girl here and has since spent most of his free time with her, I also know that he allows her to sleep in his bed with him for security. I'm sure it will remain innocent- if Eric were to prove himself as a cad, he'd quickly find himself without a job or place to stay.'  
  
Charles had written about me! It was odd, hearing about myself this way.  
  
'November 8th, the girl, Raven, has rejected her former identity and has insisted that Eric rename her while she was in bed with him. An odd request, I should think, and only surpassed in its oddity by Eric's name for her, Mystique. What kind of name is that? Not a name at all, more like a description of the girl. Her mutation has gone farther, effecting her eyes and voice; Mystique is quite interesting, and I'm sorry that the other children have been less accepting of her.'  
  
I closed the journal and put it and the rest back into the knapsack.  
  
Alright! That's enough information for one day; I didn't want to read anymore. Emma had come back, but why?  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
Emma Frost didn't like me, which was obvious from the get-go. Eric wanted to introduce her to me, and the woman practically got up on the furniture and screamed like a housewife afraid of a titmouse.  
  
Eric had asked me to come with him to the bridge, where Emma was waiting to meet me.  
  
"Why does she want to meet me?"  
  
"You're very special to me, you know that don't you?"  
  
"Umm-"  
  
Eric's next sentence came out quickly, and he tripped over his words, something I had never heard from him before.  
  
"W-what I meant to say was that I am very proud of you, everything you've managed to accomplish since you came here, and-"  
  
"It's ok Eric, I know what you meant." I sighed.  
  
I was just his project; he cared for me like a pet, not like-like the way he cared for Emma.  
  
He smiled kind of sadly when I said that, and we just went along in silence to the bridge. Emma had her back to us.  
  
"Emma, there's someone I'd like you to meet."  
  
Emma turned and looked at my face.  
  
I don't even think that Theresa could've screamed louder.  
  
"Agh! Agh! Oh my God, it's a monster!" Emma shrieked as she started carrying on like a gobbling turkey.  
  
Eric came forward and tried to calm her down. Emma's powers started crackling the air as she lost control, forcing Eric to use his own to cancel out hers.  
  
The two mutants struggled on the bridge; the air snapped with electricity and the metal under the bridge started to shake and twist. Emma was screaming the whole time that I was a monster, making me feel more and more like one.  
  
After a few more minutes, I got fed up with it and jumped off the bridge, into the pond. The water soaked into my clothes, making it hard to swim.  
  
I squirmed out of my bra, shirt, shorts and underwear, and I swam naked. The water kept me in shadow, no one could see me, and my mind could drift.  
  
How could I feel so beautiful around Eric and when I was by myself, but so hideous when around others?  
  
It wasn't fair. People like Emma and Alison would have wonderful men like Eric fawning all around them while I would feel alone forever. It made me sick.  
  
Like a half-human, half-crocodile, I swam through the water languidly, let it wash over my scales, my hair spreading around my face. I sank to the bottom several times and came up for air; I floated around on my back.  
  
I looked to the bridge and saw that Eric and Emma had gone.  
  
Fine, let them go get married and have a million babies, I didn't care.  
  
Actually, I did care. I didn't want Emma to take Eric back; I wanted her to leave him again.  
  
I got tired of swimming and let the water carry me to the edge of the pond. I got washed up like a piece of debris.  
  
"Have a nice swim?"  
  
I looked up. Eric stood above me. It occurred to me that I was buck-naked, and that he could see my everything, but I made no move to cover myself.  
  
"Jolly." I snapped.  
  
His face softened. "Mystique, I'm sorry about Emma-"  
  
"Yeah? Well if you're going to apologize for her, you can go ahead and apologize for every other person that's seen what I really look like."  
  
I was angry, I had every right to be; I was sick and tired of being treated like I was a leper! Eric didn't even think to mention to Emma that I wasn't like the other kids here?  
  
He didn't stop to think, 'Oh, maybe I should warn Emma that Mystique looks more like a lizard than a girl so she doesn't say anything that would hurt her feelings?'  
  
"Mystique, please try to understand-"  
  
"No! I'm sick of trying to understand other people's reactions, ok? Why should I have to be accepting of other people's shortcomings when no one ever stops to think about how it makes me feel?!"  
  
"But Mystique, she-"  
  
"She's the love of your life! I know all about it, just leave me alone, Eric!" I yelled at him as I changed into Jubilee (with some clothes, of course) and headed back to the house.  
  
I needed time to clear my head, I had to get away.  
  
That night I'd get my wish.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
Confused and upset, I went to my room. I shouldn't have yelled at Eric and blamed everything on him; he's one of the only ones in my whole life that hadn't judged me just by the way I look.  
  
The way people reacted to me wasn't his fault, I was just jealous of Emma for taking all of his attention.  
  
She was shrieking and letting her powers go out of control just because I looked so odd.  
  
I didn't like Emma at all. She's so snotty and bratty and spoiled- how could Eric stand her?  
  
No, let me rephrase that: how could he like her more than me?  
  
What was so horrible about me, anyway?  
  
I paced my room for awhile, and then I decided to swallow my pride. I went into Eric's study. I sat down on the ottoman before his chair and waited for him to come in so that I could apologize and explain why I had become so upset with him.  
  
Eric never came in, but Emma did.  
  
I was inspecting my navy toenails when the double doors opened. Emma poked her golden head into the study. She looked at me and this time she didn't shriek or go nuts, she just stared at me blankly before putting on that bitchy, condescending smirk. "Hello, dear." She greeted me.  
  
I stared back at her and just cocked my head at her instead of saying anything. Her bitchy smirk turned into a bitchy smile. She entering the study and shut the door behind her.  
  
I didn't want her here; this was Eric and my special place. He'd given me several back massages here, my hair changed here; he'd shown me his Nazi tattoos here. It was like our special, sacred place.  
  
Emma was going to contaminate the space that held our closest moments.  
  
"I'm terribly sorry about the bridge today, dear, but try to understand that one is not usually presented with someone of your-your- well, you know what I'm trying to say, don't you?" she asked.  
  
God, I wanted to strangle her!  
  
"Yes." I said, keeping my expression blank.  
  
"Oh, good! You know, Eric is always saying how understanding you are," she said as she walked past me and took a seat on his desk. I turned around to face her, wondering what else he's said about me.  
  
"He says a lot about you, you know."  
  
"Like what?" I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.  
  
"He says he's thrilled every time he sees how much you've grown and changed since coming here, how special you are to him," she smiled almost evilly. "Sometimes I can't get him to stop."  
  
Had I been any other color than what I was, she would have easily seen that I was blushing from head to toe.  
  
"It's a pity."  
  
"What is?" I asked.  
  
"He'll miss you so much, really he will."  
  
"What do you mean, he'll miss me?"  
  
"He didn't tell you? Goodness, He'll never change! We're leaving tomorrow, for England."  
  
I felt my heart drop. "When will he be back?" my voice sounded so lifeless.  
  
"Never, this is a permanent move. Best thing for him, really, he said himself he was tired of having to be every child's parent, doctor and teacher. 'Enough is enough!' were his exact words." I stood there, shocked.  
  
Emma leaned forward. "But don't worry, Mystic, I'll be there for him." She took my hand and patted it lightly, as if she were trying to be consoling.  
  
I ran out of the room, and literally felt my heart break.  
  
Out of the study and up the stairs, through the door to my room.  
  
"Mystique, what's wrong?" Jubilee asked when she saw me.  
  
I ignored her and put my face in my hands.  
  
"What's the matter?" Alison asked as she put a hand on my back. I looked up at her and she started screaming.  
  
I could feel myself changing, morphing rapidly from one shape to the next, I could feel it and knew it was frightening my roommates, but I couldn't have cared less, I was so upset I couldn't make it stop.  
  
Eric was leaving me, just like that.  
  
"Oh my God, get Mr. Lehnsherr!" Alison yelled.  
  
Danielle ran out of the room, and returned with Eric.  
  
"Mystique, stop, what's wrong?" he asked as he held me by the shoulders.  
  
"Let go of me!" I yelled back in his voice.  
  
Eric let go of me and followed me out of the house. He grabbed my arm and turned me to face him. "Mystique, tell me what happened right now!" he demanded.  
  
"You said you'd stay as long as I needed you!" I cried.  
  
"What are you-oof!"  
  
I cut off his next statement rather dramatically, as I had just morphed into Warren. One of the wings had jabbed him in the middle, knocking the wind out of him.  
  
I flapped, once, twice, and was lifted off the ground. I flapped the wings as hard as I could, trying to ignore Eric calling me back from the ground. 


	10. The End of Mystique's Story

I cannot explain how wonderful flying is. I flapped "my" wings harder, climbing higher and higher into the air; I fluttered, I glided, I soared.  
  
No wonder Warren was so arrogant; I was a god among insects!  
  
It was the most amazing thing I'd ever experienced, pure bliss and freedom. I flew faster towards the bright lights of the city, my wings straining with the effort of climbing the air.  
  
Flying was indescribably wonderful, and painfully exhausting. I was maneuvering around New York's skyscrapers now; weaving in and out, trying not to attract too much attention.  
  
Of course someone would notice the angel flying by, but at least no one would be able to trace me. I flapped my way up, up to the top of a building, and practically collapsed on the roof.  
  
Slowly, I changed back. The wings withered and melted into my back, white feathers replaced with sapphire scales. I was me again.  
  
For several minutes, I just laid there on the gravelly roof, more tired than I could ever think possible. I rolled over onto my back, and looked up at the stars above. I let my heart rate slow down, my breath slowed. I could've fallen asleep right there I was so tired, but I knew I had to get up soon.  
  
Almost like I was moving in slow motion, I stood up. Knowing I'd be sore the next morning didn't make me regret the flight; the cost for exhilaration is exhaustion.  
  
I went to the edge of the building and looked out over the city.  
  
"I flew here." I said aloud to no one. I took a deep breath, letting that thought digest.  
  
I stood there, looking at the city for a while longer, trying to think of a plan. I'd need a place to stay, I'd need money.  
  
I couldn't go back to the school; there was nothing for me there with Eric on his way out. Even if I went back now, everyone would just make me feel worse.  
  
Mystique the Freak, the mutant who got a crush on her teacher and can't control her powers. The teasing and isolation would just get worse and worse; at least with Eric around I had something to look forward to.  
  
Eric.  
  
He probably hadn't even intended to tell me he was leaving.  
  
Emma had said he was tired of "being every student's parent, doctor and teacher", I knew he meant me. I was the only one that took up so much of his time, I was the reason he wanted to leave the school- hell, I was the reason he wanted to leave the country!  
  
I struggled to keep from crying. I was so sick of crying, I wanted to be angry, to be able to say the words, "Forget Eric! I hate him!"  
  
But I can't. I wish I could hate him, I wish I could forget him, but I know I'll never be able to.  
  
As much as it killed me, I had to let him live his own life, even if it meant I couldn't be in it.  
  
He wanted to leave, that's fine; I hope he and Emma are happy together.  
  
Maybe I'd find a way to visit them someday, years from now.  
  
I knew that would never happen, but it made me feel better to hold onto the idea.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
The first night, I found myself in a difficult position: I was proud that I had managed to get so much money, but disappointed that I could be such a skilled pickpocket.  
  
Actually, "pickpocket" isn't the best word to describe what I'd done the first night. I either scared or threatened people into giving me their cash.  
  
I'd go after couples and old people; sometimes I'd make myself look like some brutal gangster, and when I got tired of morphing, I'd jump out at people in my blue form, scaring the money out of them.  
  
Within a few hours I had $500. People had lots of money here in NYC.  
  
I changed myself to look like a businessman, and quickly got a hotel room. It wasn't difficult, but I could only have the room for one night.  
  
That was okay, if I was going to stay anywhere, it'd be in a five-star. I drew myself a hot bath and reclined in the tub. I thought about Eric and Emma, I thought about Charles and all the other students at the school; I thought about what I'd do now that I truly was alone in the world. On this night, I decided that I deserved a few things out of life.  
  
As had become one of my habits, I made a new list.  
  
It was a shorter list than the one before, but I was a simple girl; I didn't want all that much out of life, just the usual.  
  
A place to live. An income.  
  
I wanted to find out about my mother, and I wanted revenge.  
  
The hotel provided me with a computer in my room, which I gladly took advantage of.  
  
Information is a wonderful thing.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
In all my years in that Hell, I never got to see the outside. I was always in the cage, you see. The two times I glimpsed the outside of my tent were when I was first forced here and when Eric freed me.  
  
Isn't it odd, that after all my wishing for escape, I would come back so readily?  
  
I had morphed into a young man, about 19, and wandered around the carnival. The night had thrown the place into darkness, but with my mutated eyes, everything was clear as day.  
  
The tents were large and loomed over me as I snuck all around, looking for my past. What did I hope to find? I didn't know then and I still don't know now.  
  
I had my reasons, of course. Oh yes, I had my reasons for coming back.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
During the next day, I did what I do best: I spied.  
  
I watched Tim in several different forms, observing the changes he'd gone through over the years. He had gained weight, he had lost hair, and he had grayed.  
  
He was still the same old Tim, though. I could smell it; he was greedy and cruel.  
  
I also observed the crowds. They were much smaller than the size they had been when I was here as an attraction. The carnival had probably been dying since I left.  
  
That made me smile.  
  
The tiny crowd left, and I remained in my chair.  
  
It was kind of odd, changing back into my younger, weaker self; burning off mass to make myself smaller and thinner, creating the appearance of emaciation. I changed my eyes back to the human light blue they had been, and my flame hair faded into greasy strands of blonde. My skin formed a tee- shirt and denim shorts, the same outfit I had been wearing on the day of my escape.  
  
Tim had gone backstage to prepare the next act--a half-assed magic display- and when he came back to the front to set up, he saw me.  
  
We were alone at last.  
  
He froze, his brow furrowing, his eyes flashing with recognition.  
  
He knew me.  
  
"You." He said.  
  
I put on a frightened expression, all the while trying not to smile. I didn't want to give away my dark, beautiful secret until I was ready.  
  
He came forward and hauled me out of the chair by my hair. It hurt, but I didn't cry out like I would have years before. That's not who I had become, I was strong now, I was a woman.  
  
Tim dragged me from the chair and was yammering on about the money he had lost and how the carnival was sinking and how I'd have to make it up to him.  
  
He slammed me back against a support pole, and undid his zipper.  
  
That's when I snapped.  
  
Maybe it was the carnival bringing back all the bad memories or the idea of being recaptured or Tim trying to assault me or maybe even a horrible combination of all three.  
  
Whatever it was, it awoke something in me.  
  
I put my hands over Tim's-which were holding me tightly at the shoulders- and dug in with my nails. My fingernails aren't any different than a normal human's- but with my ability, I stretched them and strengthened them until they were as sharp and strong as butcher knives.  
  
In mere seconds I had an eight-inch long dagger growing from each finger.  
  
My claws dug all the way through his wrists and out the other side, he screamed and let go of me. I changed back to my normal form, making sure he saw every detail of my transformation; from the clothes melting into my scaly naked flesh to the yellowing of my eyes and the angry coloring of my hair.  
  
Tim backed up a few steps, cradling his bleeding wrists and cowering from me. I lashed out, punching and kicking and biting and stabbing! Tim couldn't react in half the time it would have been necessary to fight back.  
  
As much as I'd like to describe every cut and blow, I'm running low on time and I'll just say this: I beat the shit out of him.  
  
He was a bloody heap by the time I fell to my knees beside him in exhaustion and spent emotion. I kneeled over him, panting heavily, choking on anger and hatred for this pathetic excuse of life.  
  
He was what Charles and that school stood for saving; a man. A weak, ugly, cruel, evil man. A human that had used me in horrible ways. He sold me to people.  
  
All humans are created equal, equally worthless.  
  
I took hold of Tim's wrist, slick with blood, and I dragged him from the main floor of the large tent and tossed his near limp body into the cage that used to be my own.  
  
"What are you-"  
  
"As much as I'd love to let you rot in there like I did for years and years, I can't. Someone would come along and let you out, you fat slug, though no one ever raised a finger to save me. You're a waste of space, don't you know that? You're useless, you're nothing. No one will miss you."  
  
I locked him inside and left him shortly to return with the gas can I had bought that morning. Almost as if I were dancing to a tune in my head, I splashed every inch of that tent before lighting the match.  
  
Tim was begging me to spare him, and that's when I finally broke my vicious glare and smiled. The first real smile I had made in the past few weeks it took me to find this hellhole.  
  
I didn't say anything, I only smiled as I watched him burn.  
  
The flames quickly spread to the rest of the carnival tents, devouring the place. I made sure that nothing was left except the ashes.  
  
Tim was dead, I wasn't positive about the others, but upon reflection, I doubted if I would have cared either way if anyone else had died.  
  
The carnival was nothing more than burnt remnants, and I couldn't have been happier.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
After my trip to the Ozarks to banish a few demons, I made my way home. Well, not home exactly, but what used to be home before Eric found me.  
  
Stop thinking about him! He left you alone for that snob!  
  
I had tried-unsuccessfully- to erase Eric from my mind altogether, but how could I, really?  
  
The more I tried not to think about it, the more frequent my mind wandered to him.  
  
***Flashback***  
  
We had finished sparring, and as usual, Eric invited me into his private study. He didn't know how honored it made me feel, as I was the only student who had ever been inside.  
  
He guided me-his hand resting gently on the small of my back- to the ottoman in front of his chair, and gave me a rubdown.  
  
It wasn't the first time, nor was it the last. His strong fingers kneaded the tensed muscles, caressing and lingering touches that made me moan quietly.  
  
Eric didn't mind when I made those sounds, to him I was thanking him without words. His hands traced the swirling patterns of scales on my back. Eric didn't try to touch me in any way that was inappropriate, he'd never do that, he just wanted to make me feel better with a massage.  
  
He always offered and I always accepted.  
  
It was on one of those nights, where he let me stay in his study, that I saw it. Blue markings on his skin.  
  
"Eric, what's on your arm?" I asked as I stood and reached for his hand.  
  
I took his thick wrist and turned it so I could more easily see the inside of his arm.  
  
They were numbers.  
  
I had learned about something called the Holocaust in history class. I didn't understand much of it, but I remembered about the numbers. Eric had numbers. Eric had been in the Holocaust.  
  
I looked up from his tattoo and saw that he was looking away. He didn't want to look at me, or his numbers. I ran my nails lightly over the numbers and asked him if it had hurt.  
  
He told me it hurt him everyday, and it would never stop hurting. I knew it was important, that he let me see his marks and tell me about them, but I didn't know what to say.  
  
"I'm sorry." Was all I could think of.  
  
He looked at me then, really looked at me, and liked what he saw. He drew me into a hug, kissed me on the crown of my head and simply said, "Thank you, Mystique."  
  
He then he walked me back to my room.  
  
***End Flashback***  
  
I shook off the memory, ignoring how it pulled at my heart, and tried to focus on the task at hand. I was in another hotel-I was always in some hotel-trying to concentrate on the magazine I had propped up on the nightstand.  
  
The picture was of a business woman, and I was copying her form. I had made my way back to the town I had originated from, and found that in my long absence, it had grown. New buildings and neighborhoods had been built.  
  
I couldn't find my way around, but I thought up a plan: I'd go to the Town Hall library and find anything relating to my past. There had to be birth records of me, school records, information on my mother.  
  
The form I wanted required a business suit, high heels, hair pulled up into a bun and glasses. That seemed hard, I was a little nervous about it, but I wanted to tackle this challenge if only to see whether or not I could do it.  
  
I stood in front of the hotel's closet door mirrors, and let the change sweep over me. My hair pulled and twisted itself into the bun before darkening to chestnut brown; my skin took on the appearance of a feminine pinstripe business suit and glasses formed on my face.  
  
I looked myself over in the mirror, checking out how I looked.  
  
Overall, I was impressed; I was a perfect match of the magazine picture. The morph had gone smooth enough, taking less than thirty seconds.  
  
I had found that once I manage to copy one form perfectly the first time, I can do it again and again without a problem.  
  
As I matured, the control over my ability had increased greatly; I found that there were less and less obstacles. Young, old, big, small, male, female; I could change into anything. It was almost natural to me.  
  
I walked all the way to the Town Hall library, ignoring the many catcalls I heard along the way.  
  
"Hi," I said to the ancient woman at the counter, "I'm looking for information on behalf of a New York based law firm, A&C. I'm afraid it's a matter of federal interest." I told her, lying through my teeth and loving every minute of it. It was such a thrill!  
  
Her light brown eyes widened at the mention of the federal government, "Of course, we'll do whatever we can to help you. What information are you looking for, Miss?" she asked.  
  
"I'm here to find out about two former residents. Lana and her daughter, Raven Darkholme."  
  
When I said the names, the woman's face darkened.  
  
"What's the matter?" I asked her.  
  
"Well, nothing's the matter; it's just a sad story is all."  
  
"Oh? And why's that?" I asked, my interest piqued.  
  
The woman leaned in closer, as I did, to have some measure of privacy. "Well, it's just terrible, what happened to those Darkholmes. The girl, Raven, well she was always peculiar-then, when she started to change, the town doctors didn't know what to do with her. The girl had all these bumps and then the poor thing started turning blue!"  
  
"Blue?" I asked, feigning disbelief.  
  
"Oh yes, her arm started turning this odd shade of light blue, and she was kicked out of school-it was a terrible ordeal for such a sweet girl to have to go through. And her mother! My God, could you imagine?"  
  
"What happened to them?"  
  
"No one knows for sure what happened to the girl. People figured she ran away."  
  
"What happened to Lana?"  
  
"Oh, she's still here, in Cedar Hills."  
  
My heart had started beating faster, my hopes were rising; I'd see my mother! My mom! She's see me and hug me and we'd start over, be a family again.  
  
"Thank you!" I called to the old woman as I ran out the door.  
  
I was giddy with excitement, I'd finally come home!  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
The sky had been mostly overcast that day, gray clouds shadowed the world, threatening rain but not yet ready to deliver.  
  
Strong winds coursed over me, cutting me with their chill.  
  
I didn't feel the cold; I didn't feel the first few raindrops that fell from the sky.  
  
There, in the middle of a seemingly endless field, I was kneeling by my mother's grave. Yes, she was dead.  
  
You're not actually surprised, are you?  
  
She had "accidentally" overdosed on sleeping pills the morning I had been taken away by Tim.  
  
That was why it took so long for a police dispatch to search for me, since no one had been around to report me missing. By the time they realized I was gone, I was already being held on display at the carnival.  
  
Lana Darkholme was dead; I had killed her.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
I didn't bother crying, I only acknowledged the crushing disappointment I felt in my chest. I was upset, but strangely not surprised.  
  
Everything else in my life had been taken away, why not her?  
  
Take away my freedom, my innocence, my hope, Eric and now my mother.  
  
What to do now?  
  
I had the ability to morph my body to make it look like other people. I could have made myself look like a celebrity and take their place in Hollywood or something, but why bother? I'd have no one to share the wealth with, I was alone.  
  
I relocated to a big city in Florida, Miami.  
  
I got an apartment where the landlord didn't ask questions, so long as the rent was on time every month. I got a job modeling for this sleazy photographer, posing for him every other night and waiting tables every other day.  
  
I told the photographer, Danny, my name was Rachel Cooper. He believed me, of course. He believed anything I said; though, he rarely listened to what I had to say, he mostly just clicked pictures and tried to coax me into showing more skin.  
  
"What's wrong with a little tasteful nudity?" he had always asked.  
  
"I've told you a hundred times, no!"  
  
I had actually started to miss the isolation of Charles's school. At least when I was the school pariah, no one was trying to see me naked.  
  
Of course I still missed Eric.  
  
I thought of him at least once a day, wondering what he and Emma were up to in England; remembering the little pearls of wisdom he had told me over our time together and most of all, hoping I would see him again someday.  
  
The idea was folly; I'd never see him again, but just having that hope with me gave me something to look forward to. I guess it helped to keep me motivated.  
  
I left the photography studio one night in January, sometime past midnight. Danny always kept me late, always in the hopes that I'd decide it was too late and stay the night in the studio with him, and explore some "tasteful nudity" of our own.  
  
He was pathetic. If he tried to touch me, I'd kill him without a second thought.  
  
I left the studio and looked up and down the street, assessing any possible danger. It was late, and I was morphed into the perfect Miami beauty: long dark hair, a deep tan, large brown eyes and the perfect body.  
  
I was smokin' hot, which could attract trouble if I wasn't careful.  
  
To make sure I didn't become a statistic, I usually morphed into a rough looking guy in an alley a few buildings down.  
  
There was a man with a hat standing on the street corner, a few women coming out of the open-late diner across the street and a few cars passed on the street.  
  
No threats.  
  
I started walking towards my apartment, five blocks down.  
  
I had made a habit of listening to and watching everything around me, always looking for a sign of danger. I listened to the click of my heels and stopped short.  
  
There was no other noise.  
  
I kept walking and listening to the tapping of my shoes and stopped short again. I heard a second set of footsteps stop after me.  
  
I could feel eyes on me, but I couldn't let on that I knew someone was following me. I started walking again, more quickly to give whoever was following me the illusion of paranoia.  
  
I'm so frightened! Whatever shall I do? I'm just a weak woman, with no one to protect me!  
  
He'll never hurt another person in the world after I get through with him. I led the stalker to the alley I always morphed in before going home, and disappeared around the corner.  
  
I didn't bother to change yet, I hid behind some stacked crates and waited.  
  
Not five seconds after me, the attacker showed himself. It was a man in dark clothes, his hat hid his face.  
  
I jumped out from my hiding place and landed a solid kick to his chest. He recovered quickly and blocked my punches and kicks; I blocked his hits as well.  
  
I did a windmill kick and just barely missed his temple; I only succeeded in knocking the hat from his head.  
  
I looked at his face.  
  
"Eric?"  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
I took Eric back to my apartment; we walked side by side in complete silence. I led him inside and went into the kitchen to make some tea, he saw on the sofa in the living room.  
  
My hands shook as I poured his cup, what was he doing here?!  
  
He was supposed to be in England with that bratty Frost woman, enjoying top membership in the Hellfire Club, not sitting in my living room!  
  
I left the kitchen with the tea tray and set it on the coffee table before him. I sat down beside him on the couch; neither one of us reached for the tea.  
  
The silence stretched between us, I stared at the hands knotted in my lap and didn't look at him. Eric had leaned his elbows forward on his knees; he was looking at me sideways.  
  
He wasn't going to say anything, so I ventured out with some kind of remark.  
  
"I didn't recognize you in that hat." I said lamely.  
  
"Funny, I almost didn't recognize you in that body, Raven." He replied.  
  
I looked at him and his mouth twisted up into a playful little smirk. He thought he had broken the ice, he thought I would open up and be friendly.  
  
Just because he'd shown up out of nowhere he thought I'd let him off the hook for leaving the school for Emma.  
  
"Don't call me that." I told him.  
  
He lost the small smile, his brows knitted together. "What would you prefer? Rachel? Surely not Mystique. You left that life behind." His voice was somewhere between bitter and hurt.  
  
That made me angry.  
  
"I didn't leave anything behind! You left to be with Emma!"  
  
"What are you talking about? I never went anywhere."  
  
"Please, you were planning to leave with Emma. You couldn't wait to get away."  
  
"Emma told you that?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And you actually believed her?"  
  
That made me hesitate. "Yes."  
  
Eric sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. "That she-devil, she's at it again!" He seemed to be talking to himself. He got up and started pacing the room, agitation buzzing around him.  
  
"I never made plans to go with her back to England, she lied to you to get you out of the way." He said.  
  
"Me? Why would she bother lying to me?"  
  
He stopped pacing and stood in front of me. "Because she knew I wouldn't leave you behind."  
  
I stood up. "So it wasn't true, what Emma said you told her?"  
  
"I knew it was a mistake, agreeing to rekindle what was lost. I should have known better. What did she say?"  
  
"She said that you were tired of being every student's parent, doctor and teacher. I thought you had been complaining about me to her."  
  
Eric shook his head. "I did say that, but I should have known she'd find a way to use my own words against me."  
  
That part hurt. "You said that?"  
  
"Well, yes, but not how it sounds. I just- I don't want to be those things to you anymore, Mystique."  
  
"Then what do you want?" I asked.  
  
Could he possibly be thinking along the same lines as I was? It was impossible, or was it?  
  
"I-I wanted something more." He stammered.  
  
I was going to ask him what he meant, but he interrupted me.  
  
"What are you doing here? Posing for that fool at the studio, waiting tables at the diner-you know that's beneath you, I know you're better than that."  
  
He sounded almost like he was scolding, shame on me!  
  
I didn't say anything.  
  
Eric shook his head, snapping himself out of the intensity of his little speech. He looked back at me, and he was smooth again. "If you'd like to do something more suitable to Homo Superior, come with me. I'm only in town for tonight, by noon tomorrow, it will be too late."  
  
Eric pulled me to him and kissed my forehead. "Please come with me, Mystique."  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
I went, of course. How could I have refused him?  
  
We abandoned my apartment for his hotel room.  
  
Eric ordered room service to bring up a fruit platter for me, with some champagne to celebrate our reunion. I slept with Eric in his bed, naked and natural; he had never seen the scales, he'd only seen who I was becoming.  
  
Where once I had been frightened and abused, now was I unbreakable and maybe a little bit arrogant.  
  
Eric sees this, sees me, and embraces it.  
  
I felt his arm come around my waist in his sleep and I smiled as he kissed my shoulder.  
  
So later today, when you're being ripped apart, and you ask God why, at least now you'll know."  
  
Mr. Mitch Laurio rolled over on his bed. Those pills had done the trick, he'd been out like a light since the men's' room at Lou's bar.  
  
He probably hadn't heard one word I'd said all night.  
  
Well, no matter, it wasn't important to me whether or not he remembered my little bedtime story. He'd be dead soon anyway.  
  
"Hey." He greeted me groggily.  
  
"Morning." I said back.  
  
I was sitting on the edge of the bed, to anyone else, it would have looked like we'd had one hell of a night.  
  
"What time is it?"  
  
I checked my watch. "Almost noon."  
  
"Good, I don't have to be at work for another couple hours. Then again, I could just call in sick; we could hang out."  
  
No!  
  
"I have to be ay work in an hour, but definitely afterwards, what time do you get off?"  
  
"Nine-thirty." He said as he looked around the room for his clothes. I handed him his shirt.  
  
"Nine-thirty it is, I'll be waiting for you outside, ok?"  
  
"You got it, babe." He said.  
  
Humans, so gullible.  
  
THE END 


End file.
